First Blog

Connect the dots

2006-03-06T00:32:00.000-08:00

There were little purple flowers on my car today evening. The slight drizzle with a little help from the wind had torn them away from their home of the past few days. It looked beautiful. There is a street lamp right behind the tree. If you look at it with polarizing sun glasses (such as the really good ones I recently purchased) the light from the street lamp combined with the flowers remaining in the tree, have quite a magically purplish effect. The sun glasses also prevent the rain from getting into your eyes.

We all should charge a cover for people who want to enter our hearts and/or minds. Friends, lovers, one-night-stands everyone of them should pay. Not a lot, but still enough to make them think twice before leaving before they get their money's worth !

My favorite part of most movies is the part in the end, just before or even during the credits, when you get to know what the characters you just watched for the past few hours do with the rest of their lives. Somehow I don't feel satisfied with just the three odd hours of watching them. I want to know it all. I want it all.

The man on my back was acting up again last evening. A quick call to a person well established in my comfort zone helped take care of that double quick. Followed by aunt's yummy dinner.

Oh, and the previous post was just an excuse to not have to write about all them individual incidents one by one. Too many things to write about. So won't even try :)

We gotta start somewhere...

2006-02-09T00:39:00.000-08:00

Where do I start ? Should I tell you about the absolutely annoying Polish lady with the ridiculously small bladder who sat next to me on the trans-atlantic flight and had to get up to pee every 15 mins or so ? Should I tell you about the customs official who gave me a half hour talk WITH SLIDES on Import and Export regulations of the United States of America ? Should I tell you about the horrid minivan with the horrid brakes in the horrid Michigan weather ? Should I tell you about the 27 meetings over 3 weeks ? Should I tell you about the how awesome my friends in Pittsburgh still are and how much fun we all had ? Should I tell you about how shake-your-foundation-surprising it is when someone you thought you knew for the last couple of years ends up surprising you silly with things you never knew about her ? Should I tell you about the calm after the storm as you sit in an apartment quite buzzed, listening to Queen and David Bowie singing Under Pressure, wondering about the big ifs of you life, as all the party people leave ? Should I tell you how amazing a city is Chicago is ? Should I tell you how annoying it is to have your stay away from home extended for 5 more weeks on the eve of your departure ? Should I tell you about anjali_83 who was terribly cute BUT sat next to the bald chap, who got her email ID, in the seat ahead of me on the flight back ? Should I tell you about Delhi, my great, fun, awesome, unbelievably fun vacation in Delhi ? Should I tell you about the wedding of The Warrior and Her Mother's Daughter ? Should I tell you about the Family ? Should I ? Huh ? Huh ?

Gather around little children, its grandpa's story time...

Unraveling threads

2006-01-16T22:09:00.000-08:00

Me: Hi mom, just thought I'd call, since one call lasts you for longer than an email...
Mom: Very good reason.
[random chit chat]
Me: Listen, you guys need to get me some stuff the next time you come around - a nice persian rug and some good quality linen, atleast 300+ thread count, ought to be cheaper there.
Mom: Okie, will look around here.
Me: Don't get those floral patterns you usually buy, some solid colors, pastels, dark greys...
Mom: How does it matter ? Anyway it is for your bedroom only no...
Me: Ummm...
Mom: Its not like you have company and need to impress people there... ha ha ha...
Me: Ummm...
Mom: [uneasy silence] Why aren't you saying anything...
Me: You know what, forget the linen, just get the rug.
Mom: Ayyooo ! What are you saying !

Right, so moral of the story is: Don't ask a question to which you know you won't like the answer to.

So much to blog about, so little time...

Boo !

2005-12-20T05:16:00.000-08:00

There.

Many apologies for the prolonged absence. Work and extended travel have taken their toll.

Anyhoo, 'tis the season to be jolly right about now and whats more, its vacation time. Expect a few post dated posts and a sprinkling of the fun being had by all concerned in Delhi.

Off I go to leave a comment trail... see y'all around soon !

Right to Blog for Awareness

2005-10-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

The members of the "Bloggers of Bangalore" community would like to bring to the attention of the media and society at large, certain unfair and intimidatory actions undertaken by the Indian Institute of Planning and Management (IIPM) against members of the Indian blogging community.

In June 2005, JAM, a popular youth magazine published out of Mumbai, ran a story on IIPM titled 'The Truth about IIPM's Tall Claims' pointing out blatant exaggerations in the institute's claims about infrastructure, courses, affiliations and placements. For instance, the magazine article pointed out how IIPM continues to use certain rankings conferred upon it AFTER those rankings have been withdrawn by the bodies conferring them.
The magazine ran an ethically researched investigative story on IIPM, revealing what was a marketing fraud by the college.

Alongside, the editor of JAM magazine and a former student of Indian Institute of Management (IIM) Ahmedabad, who is also a blogger, published the same on her personal blog. In August 2005, blogger Gaurav Sabnis, another Mumbai-based blogger, posted about this on his own blog, linking to JAM's original story. Soon after this, he received an e-mail from the IIPM legal department threatening to sue him for a huge sum of money unless he withdrew his comments. Simultaneously, he was also pressurised by IIPM through his employers, a global hardware manufacturer. Rather than put his employers in a tight spot, Sabnis decided to quit his job.

The mainstream media has picked up on this issue and the stories are available at the links provided below.

Hindustan Times
Indian Express
DNA
NDTV
Business Standard
MSNBC

This issue has created a furore in the blogosphere in India as well as internationally. The strength of blogging as a force to reckon with has previously been seen in the co-ordination or relief efforts in the Tsunami crisis and the Mumbai rains at Mumbai Help and Cloudburst Mumbai.

For detailed information on the bloggers vs IIPM issue, please visit Desipundit for chronological updates on the controversy.

The purpose of this petition is to express solidarity with the bloggers who have suffered threats and abuse at the hands of IIPM and also to draw attention to the original issues at the heart of the JAM story on IIPM.

If you believe that journalists and the media should be free to inform the public of false advertisement which directly or indirectly affects their lives;
If you believe education should not be reduced to a marketable commodity;
If you believe that blogging is a powerful supplement to traditional media;
If you believe that bloggers should be entitled to individual opinions as also their own online space for airing and discussing these opinions;
If you believe in standing up for your rights; as an active member of society, as a blogger, as a citizen with the right to know

Please show your support to this cause.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

D'oh !

2005-10-20T04:50:00.000-07:00

You guys were NOT supposed to see that ! The post wasn't complete, it was poorly drafted and it was all wrong. I accidentally hit the publish button last night but quickly cancelled the operation. But I guess wasn't quick enough.

Now, I don't know how to finish it... hmm...

Ich möchte einen Toast auf Wien ausbringen!

2005-10-15T17:06:00.000-07:00

Before I left, I remember telling people that I was not looking forward to this trip at all - 5 days stuck in a conference room, meeting ultra-efficient Germans who expect nothing less from me and non-vegetarian friendly eating environments and office politics. Little did I know how wrong I was...

Vienna is by far, the most beautiful city I have ever seen. Not that I have seen to many cities in Europe but with my limited experiences, it is the most beautiful. Beautifully majestic cathedrals, cobblestone streets, city center fountains, the works. This was right next door to the hotel I was staying at.

And this was the way to the conference venue each day.

I could go on and on about the wonderful architecture, the amazing gothic looks on the massive cathedrals and all that. But I shan't. I shall talk about the mention the two most prominent things I saw in Vienna. One was, obviously, beer. I could have lived there for a year, just on the beer (Now that I'm in the US now, in comparison, the beer is quite... ummm... as a wise man once put it, like Gnat's Urine). Its fantastic, the variety, the flavor, the texture. Most of the nights we went out, I was way too happy at the end to actually take pictures. One of the guys from the conference later emailed saying that the whole deal was so much fun primarily because of the beer and the company. I couldn't agree more.

The second thing that was all over Vienna and I mean everywhere, I mean 24 hours, non-stop multiple channels worth of... I will just let the picture do the talking. Or the ummm... whatever.

To the boys - Torts, Pauly, Lurr and Lex. And to the girls - we love you all. Especially Liz. Thanks for Rammstein. Thanks for singing Summer of 69 in a loud, drunk German accent at 3 in the morning. Thanks for all the beer and the octopus. Thanks for everything !

(Obviously, this is a post-dated post. Duh. And the title means 'I'd like to propose a toast to Vienna!')

Sehen sie in Wien

2005-10-08T01:13:00.000-07:00

After a week of putting me on hold, the Austrian Consulate finally decided that I am worthy enough to enter their glorious nation - resulting in my landing in Vienna on a bright and sunny Sunday morning. The week might pass without me ever leaving the meeting/conference room... but the presence of interesting German associates and random cousins promises some fun. Following which, three weeks shall be spent in that most promising of lands, the US of A, where the Guinness shall flow like water and much hangover brunches shall be consumed.

Everyone who's here, have a great time. And I do recommend the Assam Gold or the Darjeeling First Flush. Splendid they are, truly.

It's amazing...

2005-10-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

... how well you can get to know a person given some 15 odd years?

... how smart some people seem till they actually open their mouth?

... how bus drivers in Bangalore think they are actually mountain biking?

... how words from That One Person end up being so painful and so heartwarming at the same time?

... how funny this actually is?

... how busy we all are these days, but at the end of the day, how little we actually get done?

... with the blink of an eye you finally see the light.

A Blog's Little Moments

2005-09-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

The Rat commands, we all obey. Albeit a bit late.

Delve into your blog archive.
Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
~~Tag five people to do the same.~~

Alright. 23rd post was quite a ways back and I had apparently seen this movie again right about then.

The sentence in question would be

Words that can move you, make you feel emotions that life doesn't evoke in you.

The rest of the post is an embarrassing overview of my talentless existence. Please to not read. Though I'm sure you will and make fun of it later. *sigh*.

Its fun to read stuff like you wrote, like 2 years ago. It seems so different... wonder what I'll be saying about all this, two years hence.

And as the strikethrough suggests, its too late to pass the meme on and its quite a pain trying to figure out who has been tagged and who hasn't already. So there...

My cousin, the evil mastermind

2005-09-26T01:27:00.000-07:00

I've always known that my cousins are smart. I didn't quite know they were evil geniuses till yesterday.

Some random boy has been calling my cousin and harassing her over the phone - calls about 30 calls a day, wanting to meet her, to go for coffee, to know her name (in that order, she says). I suggested a few remedies - that she agree to meet the boy at some place, arrive there and in a short while I would walk in and scare the living crap out of the boy. She figured this was too violent for her tastes and decided she would rather ignore all his calls, hoping that he would soon go away.

But he didn't. So she came up with a dastardly plan. The next time this boy called, this is what she did:

She: I have something to ask you.
Pinprick: Of course.
She: Do you really like me ?
Pinprick: Of course I do !
She: Really ?
Pinprick: Really.
She: If you truly like me, then please, promise me you will never call me again.
Pinprick: Ummm...
She: See, you said you really like me. How can I trust you if you don't listen to me ?
Pinprick: Ummm... alright, I promise.
She: Good. Good night then.

Click.

I tell you, I was stunned. Not as stunned at the fact that the little dick was actually stupid enough to fall for this, but more so by the fact that my sweet little cousin actually thought of this. I can only imagine the plight of this boy, running around the streets naked, screaming, caught in this nice little Catch-22.

If I ever need a mastermind to orchestrate my plans for World Domination, I now know who my right hand woman will be.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

55 words of unfiction

2005-09-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

Two girls in a dark theatre. One girl whips out her celly and starts messaging. Its dark, the phone is a bright light. The message is read:

'So how is work going ?' she types.

Her friend nudges her and says, 'Don't say going, say goin'.

The 'g' is deleted. The message is now cool.

"Maybe that's why I did it. I wanted to make sure you knew what you were missing. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No. You don't have to do anything to show me what I've lost. I know what I've lost. And I know, exactly why I'll never have any of that ever again."

And by unfiction, I mean these are conversations from real life. Which was what this post was going to be. I couldn't find a third and she tagged me. So there.

What's on your CD ?

2005-09-21T03:43:00.000-07:00

The Mint CD Exchange Program, sadly has come to a close. To all successful senders and recipients, my warmest louse ! We have overcome the vagaries of various countries' inter and intra Postal Systems, weather, natural calamities, crazed postal employees, solar flares and our own laziness to achieve this monumental exchange. We have shared that most precious of art forms - we have shared music.

Yay ! to that.

And now, since everyone knows what everyone else's CDs had, I shall get on with this post.

I got CDs from Grrl, Lavi, Mint and Rat, in that order. Lovely people, lovelier music. These CDs have become quite the mainstay on the daily drive to work (thanks to the hike in gas prices, I no longer drive to work. No worry, I transferred all the songs to my iPod, easy listening on the bus). And in more ways than one, these CDs are quite a glimpse into the person behind them.

Grrl's CD, was well, grrl's CD. It was totally, completely Grrl. Lovely, chocolatey music. A lot of the songs were ones that I had in my un-organized collection, so it was really nice to have 'em all in a proper CD with a purty cover. Winner of the 'First CD Award' and the 'Easiest CD To Gift To Other Ladies Award'. You made that job a whole lot simpler, Grrl, thankoooo !

Lavi's. Well, what can I say ! Hip-hop and club Platinum Collection ! Definitely wins the award for the 'Most Played in the Car and Parties' CD. I have such a cool mental image of Lavi and Sidegap grooving to the music on this CD as she yells at idiot drivers all over the road ;)

Mint's. I knew about 2 songs from the mix. Had heard about 4 in total. Award winner for 'Introducing Me To The Most New Songs' CD. Also the winner of '"Wow ! This is such lovely music !" Being Said By A Female Companion Most Number Of Times' CD - by which I mean I got a lot of brownie points with women for playing such quality music. Thanks a ton Minty !

Rat's. Rock. Roll. Totally my kinda music. Wins the 'Last But Not Least Award' ;) But honestly, really nice of her to send another awesome collection, to make up for lost time and all that ! I love them all Ratsyyy ! Such awesome music I tells ya !

As echoed else where, we definitely MUST do this again. And this time, I promise, I shall even make CD cover art. Promise.

And whats your name ?

2005-09-14T23:35:00.000-07:00

I've always been confused with the correct usage of emoticons within parentheses. (Is this the way to do it ;)) or ( should it be like this ;) ) ?
Considering how truly global our world has become and all that jazz, I find it quite annoying to be communicating with people in multiple timezones and have to say G'Morning/G'Day/G'Nite... we need to come up with something that captures the general sentiment of 'Have a good time of day'. Suggestions ?
I burnt my belly button a couple of days ago, cooking. I was in the kitchen, without a shirt on and when I plonked the onions into the pan containing nicely heated up oil, some of it jumped out and attacked my navel. A quickfire remedy was suggested, and I started wearing shirts when in the kitchen.
A kitchen haiku

olives and basil
inept slicing of tomatoes
blood in my pasta

Traffic lights are the Big Leveller of our day to day existence. The little tempo thingie that I shot by a while ago, pulls up next to me at the light, seemingly to ask - Where you gonna go now ? Life is like that only, no ?
I used to see this huge ass billboard en route to work everyday - "As Bangalore traffic gets worse, you need a job close to where you live or a home close to where you work". I couldn't help thinking, why not fix the fucking traffic, moron ? Like, are we so resigned to the fact that these problems aren't going to go away, that we wouldn't mind spending lakhs buying a house close to a job that we might hold for maybe two more years ? C'mon now, really...
Once a certain someone sends me their CD, I have a nice report of the music compiled through the Mint CD Exchange Program, planned. Wait for it.
Oh, and the new pic is a blade of grass. Serenity and peace with the universe is much needed in my life. So far, no one thinks its working or ever will.

How many legs does an elephant have ?

2005-09-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

In the end, all it took was an elephant.

Landing up at Ernagoolam Town after a 12 hour train journey, we were hustled into a cab and on the way to some of the hot spots of God's Own Country. Exciting as it was, it was also warm and tiring and sweaty. The company wasn't all that great either, but we did see some really pretty colors.

The parties started with dandia. I cannot dandia. I just can't. It's like some inherent incapability to do anything un-swordsman like when given two long sticks to play with. I slash. I jab. I go for the shin. I don't dandia. Most of the party was spent trying to find a nice corner to sneak to and smoke my Gudam Garams. And trying to get a nice long look at this.

All this while, the meetings and greetings and minglings and jinglings with new people and friends and family of the bride had all been quite, oh what shall we say, without any solid basis to bond on. It was just Oh Hello, Oh Hi, Oh Right Ho kinda greets. Afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraind of saying too much, not knowing what was proper and what wasn't. You know, the kinda stuff that happens when a completely random group of people are thrown together in a posh service apartment in Cochin.

The wedding, as might have been gathered, was a prrrOper Mallu affair. Lots of Gelf money, Gelf gold, Gelf cars and Gelf uncles and aunties. They even got married in a place called Oman Hall. Very swanky cars pull up to the entrance. Swankier aunties get out of them, followed by dripping with wealth uncles. And as per traditional requirements, there was the elephant. A nice, big strapping fella, with fully formed ivory white tusks. As the people pull up to the entrance to the hall, they are greeted by the sight of this magnificient creature.

Very soon, we were all huddled somewhere near the entrance waiting for the bride and groom, with some other boys who were also the bride's friends. General chit chat, about the weather and traffic in Bangalore abounded. And thats when one boy noticed that our friend the elephant, was getting a bit excited. Well, when I say bit, I mean very. And by that I mean very, very. In a matter of minutes, he was well on the way to touching the ground. Looked like a fifth leg and all. Well endowed, dont-need-no-spam-email-ads kinda well endowed. And that was all it took. For 5 boys who have never met previously, to become best buddies for the next couple of days. An elephant with a massive hard on. I can only imagine the plight of the more refined members of the gathering, having to greet guests, trying to avert eyes from the 'something not quite right' elephant !

And I do beleive we broke some kinda record with them elephant jokes over the next few days. About how the little kids would go from the wedding, all confused as to how many legs an elepahnt really did have. And about how it made all the men around reconsider Shakeela being the best Mallu Land has to offer. And about how the bride should really be considering this as a good omen. And so on... later in the night, after a point where it was getting to be a bit too much, we had to agree to a bloodoath to stop telling each other elephant jokes. At which point, we started SMSing each other them jokes.

But in the end, much fun was had, and they looked gorgeous.

Oh and the answer is 4.

PS: All these photos are courtesy of this boy, since my Canon has decided to quit on me.

Ah, Ernakulam Junction

2005-08-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

Yes. Thats where I will be for the rest of the week. Pardying up with them boys who say office.

I think I've lost count of the how many-eth friend this one is, who has fallen in marriage (as in fall in love). All the same, much fun, booze and boat rides await.

Endha mOle !

Ah, Madras

2005-08-23T05:59:00.000-07:00

Hotel Saravana Bhavan The Hindu Loads of really, really cool people Creamy Inn in Anna Nagar Kaapi Hilarious auto drivers Bike and Barrel Damn nice people who I can stay with Proper TamBram weddings in Mylapore Big, fat murukkus The Amethyst and a truckload of memories

are a few of the reasons I absotively, posolutely love Madras.

Wanna bite ?

2005-08-19T05:54:00.000-07:00

When I wrote the previous post, I was really speaking metaphorically. I meant that about life in general. Not specifically about speeding bulldozers or lorries. I guess my left leg didn't quite realize that, as it tried to accelerate turning left, from the left side of a lorry which was also turning left. Luckily, I ended up with a barely visible set of scratches, thanks to a lorry's really large set of tires. The insurance claim for the previous mishap hasn't come through yet. I don't even think they would have processed another, simultaneous-to-the-last-one claim from me.

Now, onto driving issues that are other people's fault. Myself and Mr. Raj were driving towards The Forum one fine evening and as always on that road (whose name I can't quite remember) at the point where the divider ends, there were idiots crammed onto the wrong side of the road. There was this one particular auto that was almost completely on my side. I eased into the side, lowered the window and yelled at the guy - fuckface, I believe is what I said. I've been told that my 'angry traffic glare' is quite scary, but apparently it was too dark that night and all I got was a blank look. But I did get a reaction out of his passenger - a petite woman shrouded in a mysterious stole. She looked positively frightened. So in case you were in an auto on Wednesday evening, and while at a signal some shady looking guy in a Scarlet Rage Getz, came really close, lowered his window and screamed 'Fuckface', you need look no further for the character in question - and yours truly is sorry to have given you that scare.

The lesson I learnt there was that I need to come up with something that Kannada speaking auto wallahs will understand. Mr. Raj, for those who know him well, has a rather significant tendency to abuse the term 'bite me'. As we walked back to the car from Firangi Paani, after a nice evening with rather excellent company, I enquired what the Kannada translation of that would be. Pat came the reply -

Namge Bite Maadi.

And there ladies and gentlemen, you have the quintessential retort, worthy of a classy upbringing, localized for the current geographic. Useful against auto wallahs and other vermin detailed elsewhere.

Recycled

2005-08-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

Never do that. NEVER ! Choices taken are choices taken. Its like overtaking a bulldozer, travelling at speeds no bulldozer should be travelling at on Airport Road (or anywhere else for that matter), from the left - you don't stop along side the bulldozer and think about the choice you made, about if what you are doing is 'right'.

You shift into second gear, and floor it.

PS: This was a comment I posted elsewhere. Just thought I could reuse and try to save my dying stat count.

Right, now then, where are we all going to be?

2005-08-12T03:42:00.000-07:00

Under threat of an excruciating and painful session watching Bunty aur Bubli from Mandar, the Boss of the Bangalore Bloggers, I said, Yes Boss, to his ~~request~~ demand that I put up a post on my blog. Please to say whatitis and be coming to see us all see Madarn do a perfect imitation of Mandy Moore.

Date: 15th August, 2005

Time: 5 PM

Venue: Sweet Chariot, #378, 8th Block, Koramangala

(Sorry Mandy for all the potshots. You know we louse you. Really. All louse only.)

Paychecks, assholes, life, marriage and recursion

2005-08-09T05:20:00.000-07:00

I have worked where I work for year now. And till date, I haven't received a single paycheck that I didn't have to take back to HR and find out what the heck their calculations were. Every. Single. Time. This time, they decided I have two kids I'm paying tuition fees for and deserve tax deductions for.
Isn't it amazing how people who are so civil and well mannered at work become such assholes on the road ? The same guy at work who said 'excuse me' as he passed between me and a colleague I was talking to, showed me the finger as he cut me off in traffic. I shall trip him next time and he will fall all over the stained carpet.
I've realized that its the people with limited challenges in life (by this I mean those rich, talented, good looking, rich, extremely cool family, rich - all through no fault of their own - people) that go out and create challenges for themselves - jujitsu, trekking, obviously tough relationships, theatre etc. I have enough challenges that life throws at me - multiple projects at work, higher management who seem to think the world of ones capabilities, extremely variances in bank accounts, friends, parents etc. - without going out and looking for more. Hence, I shall not feel bad about leading a 'incomplete life'.
A colleague of mine is getting married very soon. A proper TamBram arranged marriage. Though I have hardly ever seen two people more in love. Dinners with friends, breakfasts at five star hotels with ex-bosses, the works. He gels really well with her friends. I was never very good at that, I could never get along very well with Her friends. Given time, that might have changed... but... Anyways, I can't say I'm not jealous of him, coz I am, in a way. I envy the fact that he was so easily... for lack of a better word, satisfied. It was very simple - their parents met, they met and four days later, they were set to get married. Somehow, I don't think life has something quite that simple planned for me. Not that I'm the one to shy away from a challenge, but still.
I have sent out 72 official emails today. And I notice that as I type, if I make a mistake, I tend to delete all the way back to the point of the mistake and retype everything after that again. Like now, I woudl delete all the way back to woudl and retype would delete all the way back to would and retype.
Recursion rocks.

Signs of a good life

2005-08-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

You can always pick them out. From the millions of little moments in your life. You can always pick out the ones that brought the house of cards tumbling down. That one gust of wind that blew away what you had hoped was permanently stuck. That one conversation that opened up a whole new world. The one that got away. Life right now, seems to be a icky, gooey mess of such moments. And strangely, I have a feeling I'm not alone in thinking that way.

There is so much color tagged onto each of those moments. A bright blue for summers love. A napalm yellow for caustic retorts leading to days of unspeak. A blah brown for that state you slip into, when you realize there really isn't anything more to be done. A dazzling purple for that brilliant idea at the desperate clutch situation. A vivid pink for that taste of lipstick that just won't go away. Its all a rainbow now, colors mating with colors, making new baby colors that I've never seen before. Little baby moments in time.

Work has been pretty hectic of late, too many meetings and reviews. Mid-year crisis management. Brilliant ideas worth million dollar budgets but no time to take a closer look. The usual some say. Yes, the usual I guess.

Somehow my favorite color these days is a grid of sky blue and Blogger orange.

Mingle Jingle With Bloggers

2005-07-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

Mandar has taken it upon himself to infuse our lives with much needed fun type activities. As a prelude, please to be present for the second of such meets -

Venue: Barista, St. Mark's Road.

Date and Time: Saturday, July 30, 5:00 PM

Unfortunately (for the person who cringes at reading this :P to you !) I will be in Madras this weekend. Hope y'all have a blast. And lots of pictures, please.

Have a great weekend ! I know I will ! Woohoo !

The Taxi

2005-07-24T23:48:00.000-07:00

I had emailed The Boys about the recent purchase. Amidst congratualtions and other insults, I heard this shocking bit of information:

From:Baard

[...] also another sad news... boys... our dear old TAXI... has been sold :( .. my dad's company sold it... am ok now... but it felt like another break up... not to worry.. now recovery time... 1 day and 1 Scholtsky's veggie sandwich...

Now this was a real blow. If you ever spot me on Orkut, you would see that myself and the said person are two of three members of the Maruthi 800 community. That car, Taxi, had served us well. As Branny remembers:

From: Branny

Oh boy that was a blow, dude. I was there when she turned 80K, boo hoo. Good old “TAXI”. And that’s a reminder that we are also getting old. We should drink one for her. Later ladies.

Ah, yes. The day she turned 80K. All the stories. All the petrol bills. All the chai. All the memories.

From: Vignesh

Heh, Branny changing tyres on that beauty was a sight to behold. I was there. Kaarya, was not. I can tell my grandchildren that. Man, I'm really sad now. We are getting old guys ! Thats like, shit, The Taxi is gone. What next ? Sad, but I guess Baard said it best... 'this feels like another breakup... damn... Anyways, I think in honor of the beauty that she was and the fact that she was Baard's and he didn't mind sharing her, I shall allow Baard to name my vehicle. Go ahead dear boy... !!! Come up with a good one...

And as I wipe that slow tear off my eye, I cannot but glance at my new baby. About how she will never know the memories all of us shared with The Taxi. About how jealous she would be if she ever did come to know.

Don't worry baby, we have many more miles to go, many more memories to create.

PS: Yesterday, the lock to my front door got jammed. Now, there is a big hole in my door. I cannot leave for work. It feels strange to be locked up in a place, not because you cannot leave, but rather because you cannot lock up what you leave behind.

The need for night vision goggles

2005-07-20T01:49:00.000-07:00

So there I was, minding my own business, waiting for the bus to take me to good ol' Madras. The domino effect was in full swing - the first guy reclines his seat, and everyone behind him follows suite. As I was struggling to get my foot unwedged from the contraption of a seat in front of me, this girl walks in and notices that her seat is next to a guy. She promptly tells the cleaner to get her a seat next to a girl. I didn't know you could do something like that, but I guess in a country where all sorts of shit can happen, you can never be too safe.

The girl, her co-seated-girl, the dislocated guy, me and every one else get settled in for a bumpy night. That's when the Couple walk in. He and She are both hopelessly in love. They can't seem to let go of each other. I actually had to help the guy stow his bag away, coz he kept fumbling around with one hand for the bag, the other wrapped around Her substantial girth. They sit down, the bus starts, people start chewing paan, the usual. They hand out those god awful, itchy sheets. I stretch. I yawn. I sheet. I sleep.

I wake up to the cellphone of the dude next to me. He launches into a quick conversation, apologizes and goes back to sleep. And that's when I heard it. A low moan. A barely audible whisper. A giggle. Clothes rustling. I look around and through the corner of my eye I see His hand, sneaking under Her sheet. Her eyes are closed and before I could turn around, She lets out a moan. She slaps his hands. He takes a cue, his hands become brave. The moans continued for a while and I suspect that they woke up a few people. But surprisingly, no one said anything. They rise to a crescendo of low decibel, primal moans and abruptly come to a panting halt. And I just sat there, wondering, wow ! People actually do this on a bus !??! Surrounded by others, here is this man, climaxing his partner ! I forced my eyes shut, trying not to hold my sheet too close, eyeing stains on my sheet in a new light now.

I saw them again on the way back. And this time, they were sitting ahead of me. And they were at it again ! AGAIN ! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Moans and rustling clothes and the soft sounds of agony. I exaggerate not. I wholly understand that the public nature of the place and all that increases the excitement, and whats more, its none of my business WHERE his fingers are... but isn't this a bit too much though ?

Really now, think of the children !

My poor baby

2005-07-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Nothing. Unless you want to hear about work, I have nothing to say. That may come as quite a shock to those who know me, but its the honest truth. Life looks good right now, there isn't much to crib about. No overwhelming grief demands that I write cryptic posts, veiling my sorrow in carefully chosen words. No stellar happenings, that I can construct science fiction from. The only thing that is worth telling is this : I bought a car !!!

To which I did this, within the first five hours of owning it. While pulling up into my parking spot. After braving Bangalore traffic on a Saturday night. The duct tape is so that water doesn't flow into the door frame. Yes, it is a gash. Not a scratch.

I guess I didn't feel all that bad about it. I hadn't even started feeling like I owned the damn car to feel bad about ripping a hole through it. All I was thinking was, thank God for insurance.

Hope y'all had a less violent week.

PS: Even though the picture makes the car look like its 'Passion Red' its not. Its 'Scarlet Rage' or 'Scarlet Sage'. The tifosi in me likes to believe its 'Scarlet Rage'.

Checkmate

2005-07-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

Tassadar had done it. The crazy fool had made the ultimate sacrifice, using his own Channel, drawing enough power to bring her roiling armies to a standstill.

The General stood atop the cliff, looking down on the destruction that the clashing armies had rained on the land. He had seen worse, he had seen more death and destruction than he cared to remember. All those memories - C-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhauser gate, his last desperate defense of the Stairway to Hevan, his surprise attack on the flanks of the Destroyer of Hope at the Morgul Vale - all those victories would mean nothing if he lost now. To her. He was one the most glorified generals in the ranks of the Ever Victorious Army of the Empress, Praise Be Upon Her. An army that had never lost a battle. Never, in the history of his Glorious Land. He could NOT lose now. Not when it mattered the most.

He had done everything right. The Cankers had been deployed perfectly. He had ensured that dis-information was relayed in just the right quantities, at just the right time. He had even accounted for the wild fluctuations in the Channel, that eventually allowed Tassadar to do what he did. He knew her as a diplomat, he knew her as a brilliant tactician, as a bold opponent and as a passionate lover. Or so he believed.

And that was where he made his one fateful mistake - a mistake that would cost him his life and the lives of all those he defended. He thought he understood women.

Tassadar had done it. The crazy fool had made the ultimate sacrifice, using his own Channel, drawing enough power to bring her roiling armies to a standstill.

She stood staring at her display panels, constantly reliving that final, decisive moment - one Avalonian's ultimate sacrifice, another's brilliant strategy - reliving her defeat. In her many years in the Galactic Council, she had seen brilliance in battle, in diplomacy and in politik. Some would say she had seen more than one lifetimes worth. With her ability to always stay ahead of not only her opponents, but also her allies, she had withstood numerous coups, revolts, assassinations and lovers.

Lovers. She had had many spanning across her many lifetimes. She had met the General at the Leviathan Peace Summit and they had indulged in as doomed an affair as the summit itself. They made love, as diplomats argued, negotiators drew blood and politiks bitched. They made love, convinced that the song they sung then would reach its climactic ending on a battlefield some day.

And from the looks of things, that day had arrived. She had anticipated his every tactic, countering with such brilliance, such efficiency and such force, that she was convinced of her victory. If not for his ability to forgo what years of training had taught him, his Hja-forsaken ability to deny what his beliefs led him to understand as the Holy Word, his ability to, as he used to say, never let his morals get in the way of doing what was right. If not for that, she would have tasted his blood on her talons by now.

And that was where she made her one fateful mistake - a mistake that would cost her this campaign, her career and maybe her life - she thought she understood men.

[Some names, events and quotes have been inspired by my favorite works of science fiction and fantasy. In some cases - like the Bladerunner quote - they are identical replicas. In others vague likenesses have been used.]

Dream a little dream of me

2005-07-04T02:35:00.000-07:00

The parents have left. The house is all clean, everything is tidy, in its right place. As soon as they left, I felt an irresistible urge to do something about all that tidiness. I picked up some dirty laundry and threw it over my bed. There. That's more like it. Like my life. I don't like re-genesis. I don't like the shiny floor. I don't like the organized cupboards. I liked the nightmare of a dirty apartment. All this does now is to make me realize how worse off the rest of my life is.

I sat next to her today, on the way to work. Her hair was wet again, the fragrance as divine as ever. The smell was so thick, I could almost reach out and touch it. If I had, it would have had a nice, soft, moss-like feel to it. Herbal. Natural. She shied away from the sun. I wondered if I should ask if she wanted to swap seats. I didn't. I've been sitting behind her occasionally, for the last few months. Today, I sat next to her. And felt sad, at a dream which had ended.

It's never easy to tell someone, that sometimes, love just can't be. Should I try? "Its not that I don't love you. I do. In my own limited way. Its just that I can't. We can't. And you know it." Does that make me sound like a creep? Does that make me sound like a heartbreaking bastard who doesn't deserve the attention he gets from this marvelous woman? Does that make me sound like someone who just doesn't want to wake up from that dream ?

Rude awakenings. I hate waking up from dreams. I hate new beginnings.

Run

2005-06-30T08:42:00.000-07:00

Run from work. Run from domesticated life. Run from buying LPG cylinders. Run from brokers who promise to hook you up with the right people, to buy those cylinders from. Run from electricians who are too short to reach a ceiling fan. Run from plumbers who are afraid of getting wet. Run from people who want to forget. Run from people who I cannot forget. Run from presentations. Run from budget meetings. Run from irate Austrian professors. Run from being chosen over gardeners and clients. Run from people who are experts at hating each other.

Run from life.

Busy Running. Will Blog Be Soon.

Meet. Rinse. Repeat.

2005-06-24T04:27:00.000-07:00

A conversation today morning,

She: [...] yeah, that will be fun if we are like together and stuff, but not with random people.
Me: Umm... are we random people ? I mean, to each other ?
She: Well, you are just a friend of a friend (referring to this particular other friend, She-Friend A, lets say).
Me: Yeah, I guess...

In another conversation, this time with She-Friend A herself,

Me: So I guess since you understand where I'm coming from in all this...
She-Friend A: I don't know you that well right... so...

Yeah, welcome to the vicious cycle that is my life. Recycled friendships, illicit intrusions into other peoples' lives. Enroaching on clearly marked boundaries. Pushing against a wall, I know I cannot break or climb or find the gate to.

And so I stand with my head against that wall... Bang ! Bang ! Bang !

Like

2005-06-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

Company

Like finding that extra pair of socks,
just when you thought
you had to make do with dirty ones again.

Patience

Like two people, drenched in the rain,
looking at each other over a plate of noodles,
wondering how long the drive home will take.

Graceful

Like peeling away her skin tight denims,
in the cold dark of the night,
trembling 
at the feel her warm skin against your own.

Conversation

Like perfect strangers,
comfortably entwining their minds around
intangible artifacts,
carefully constructing tales that blur reality.

Progress

Like too many rainchecks for an offer made.

Do you have a glow in the dark watch ?

2005-06-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

The week was spent trying to rationalize matters of the heart. Matters where Logic needn't apply. There are only so many wounds that can remain open, at any given time. I may be an expert at ripping out new ones, but even I know when to quit prying them open. The trick though, is figuring out how to quit, ensuring you don't rip out everything that is important to you. As I said, Logic needn't apply.

In other news, for those who keep count of such matters, what needed amputation, has been amputated. Intangibles have been converted, into what I hope, are tangibles. Many things have been discussed, from the nature of need in a relationship, to the facilities offered by a glow-in-the-dark watch.

It ends the same way the other begins. Always. With my foibles, stumbling around in the dark, feeling, poking, prodding. It's like making a joke out of life every time. My life. My excesses. My lack of knowing when and where to stop. My desperation.

Moderation, young grasshopper, is zen, said the young one, as she walked away, merrily chasing a butterfly.

Don't listen to me...

2005-06-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

With Due Apologies to Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune

Ladies and Gentlemen - If I could offer you one tip for the future, shower gel would be it. The long term benefits of a good shower gel have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of this crap has no basis more reliable than my own worthless experience. I will talk about this now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of someone else's youth. Younger people are always fun to be with. But, beware of those who only seem young, but in truth are more mature than you are. Pull their leg at every opportunity, keep them on their toes, lest they realize just how much more mature they really are.

Don't worry about your future. Going with the flow is not only the name of a really good blog, its also a nice way of asking people to stop fighting everything. To stop trying to figure out everything Just give in and let life lead for a while. Sometimes, just sometimes, you'll get lucky.

Do one thing everyday that makes you want to kill yourself.

Shower.

Don't be reckless with other people's stuff. They paid good money for it. Don't pay them back though, if you do manage to lose, break or disfigure something they own.

Shine your shoes.

Don't waste time on jealousy. Just get even, real quick.

Learn how to differentiate compliments from when people are just being polite. "Well, I think you are [insert some agreeable characteristic that you would like to possess]" - that's just polite, they aren't really interested."I guess... coffee might be alright... but just coffee" - that's a compliment. Live with it.

Archive everything. Gmail is good for old love letters and bank statements.

Clean your belly button. Don't use ear buds for it though. And never, ever smell what you pull out of there. Resist the temptation.

When in the middle of a tender conversation, don't stop and ask 'Excooose me, what does one do with rock salt ?'.

If you are 25+ and don't know what you want to do with your life, I suggest panic. That's the only way you will ever get anything done.

Get plenty of calcium. And sex.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll get lucky, maybe you won't. Whatever you do, don't count your chicks before they have hatched. Don't incubate them too much, don't crack or pry them open. Leave them be and eventually, you will be able to count that chick as your own. Too much looking for chicks to count and eggs to hatch, does not a happy man one make.

Dancing is a spectator sport.

Directions are useless in pretty much any city in India. Don't bother. Mapquest is for losers.

Get to know your parents. Soon, you will be just like them.

Live in Pittsburgh once, but leave before it makes you boring. Live in Madras once, but leave before your brain melts right out of your ears. Live in Bangalore. Period.

Be careful who you make stupid jokes with. Realize that some people might not get the humor in your jokes and instead think that you were all serious. Even when the joke had a liberal sprinkling of emoticons. Even when you blatantly say 'I was just kidding'.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. Especially on a blog of questionable repute.

But trust me on the shower gel.

And some conditioner. And an occasional manicure.

Its always the little things

2005-06-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

Its always the little things. Its the Archive button in Gmail. Its the way you can always keep those emails you don't want to see everyday, don't want any visible indication of, but just can't get yourself to delete. Its when you notice the girl you met yesterday has your name stored in her cellphone. And it spells 'Viggie'. Its the couple next to you, sitting in a Coffee Day, kissing. Its the guy, proudly looking around to make sure someone saw. Its moving into a new apartment and realising that the thing that pisses you off the most, is not the cracked tiles or the creaky fan, but rather the fact that you have a whole new set of hot/cold faucets to get used to. Its taking a day off from work, to attend a seminar and reading this the whole time (Thanks, Swaroop. Its delicious !). Its great Italian food, a light drizzle and candles. Its the promise of a fun weekend.

Yeah, the little things.

Tag ! You're it !

2005-06-07T00:39:00.000-07:00

I was ignoring this as hard as I could. I didn't want my juvenille tastes to be displayed like this. But when the queen herself demands that you do it, you can only oblige. So here goes.

Total number of books owned ? Right now, I have about 30-40. Back home in Madras, I've got about 200+ books on non-techie topics and about 100 books on techie topics.

The last book bought ? Collected Plays by Mahesh Dattani - I have read most of these as individual works in some fashion or the other, but as a collection they are really awesome in content. It makes it so much easier to see what Dattani was getting at.

The last book you read ? Quicksilver (The Baroque Cycle, Volume One) by Neal Stephenson - A totally mindblowing dramatization of the invention of what we now can casually term, modern science. Stephenson goes a tremendous distance to towards showing how infinitely intricate history really is - millions of stories woven together to make up the collective human experience.

5+ books that mean a lot to me

The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukav

The Wu Li Master dances with his student. The Wu Li Master does not teach, but the student learns. The Wu Li Master always begins at the center, the heart of the matter.... This book deals not with knowledge, which is always past tense anyway, but with imagination, which is physics come alive, which is Wu Li.... Most people believe that physicists are explaining the world. Some physicists even believe that, but the Wu Li Masters know that they are only dancing with it.

The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Even to classify The Fountainhead as a novel seems slightly beside the point. It can be called a novel in roughly the same way in which the architectural creations of its protagonist, Howard Roark, can be called houses, apartment complexes, filling stations, and office buildings [...] Rand's vast, self-commissioned work is a novel and something more than a novel. It's a metaphysical statement, a treatise on psychological theory, an aesthetic manifesto, a commentary on American architecture, an analysis of ethics, a declaration of political principles. It has often been seen as a palace, fortress, treasury, and temple; and, let me add, one doesn't have to be a simple-minded "cultist" to see it in that way.

There's Treasure Everywhere--A Calvin and Hobbes Collection by Bill Watterson - What more can be said about the little guy and his stuffed tiger that hasn't already been said ? I had this strip up on my website, during my life as a graduate student. It captured just about everything there was to say about my life at that point.

The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion by J R R Tolkein

The Art of Computer Programming by Donald E Knuth - I remember when I was visiting my friend in Stanford, that we got a fleeting glimpse of the man himself. I swore to myself, right then and there, that I would, eventually, finish reading those books. I'm still working on it.

The Foundation Series by Isaac Asimov - In my opinion, the greatest science fiction epic ever written. The vastness of time and space, the pragmatism of science and the endurance of one man's legacy - Salvor Hardin, in Foundation -

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."
"It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety."
"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right."

Any Uncle Fred/Jeeves Omnibus by P G Wodehouse - For their unmatched ability to make me laugh. Anytime. Anywhere.

Passing this along to Grrl, Angel, Swaroop, Jax, Rat, Swathi and har|sh. If there is someone who hasn't done this yet and is reading this post, please get it over with. Soon.

PS: I cannot begin to tell you how important Google was to this post. What would we do without it ?!?!

Why aren't they extinct already ?

2005-06-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

People who cut in line. Its absolutely ridiculous how often people do that. Yesterday I was in line buying my dinner dosa, this woman comes right up and sticks her oiled, mallippoo clad head in front of me and starts ordering her food. I was boring a hole right through her skull, when the guy at the counter said 'Madam, queue please'. She gave me a look and moved away. Lady, just 'coz you have a vagina doesn't mean you have the right to butt in like that !
People who drink water standing at the water fountain, not bothering to move and let the next person get a glass. If you have acquired your drink, please step aside so others might do the same. Otherwise, I will stamp your foot. Again. And again.
People who don't hold open doors for the people walking right behind them. And when I say walking behind them, I mean like a foot behind. How much extra effort does it take to open the door a bit wider than what is barely enough for your large ass ?
People with fake accents. Who in turn, make fun of my limited American accent. And make fun of the way I pronounce some hindi words. Dude, you can't even pronounce my entire name right ! Shut up and go away !

The Lord of The Shots and Other Stories

2005-06-01T11:15:00.000-07:00

Recently I had gone out with a bunch of friends. Following a nice play, we wanted to hit up the Octopus' Garden, but there was a gig there that night. And there were well dressed people. And we had been drenched in the downpour. We decided to head to less conspicuous locales and ended up at Tavern.

[Sidestory One] The said bunch of friends are like, THE set of friends. You know how you go through college, with The Boys ? Yeah, this was them. This was just one of them though, but the basic premise holds good. This dude once left me a voice mail on my celly, that I treasured for a long time. It basically went like this: Him talking to his friend. Drunk. A police siren. One of them yelling, Oh Shit. Sounds of two drunk men, jumping in to a bush. Sounds of two drunk men trying to get out of a bush. Him finally saying 'Hello' and hanging up, as they discussed plans for where to go next.

Anyways, so there we were. Having a great time. The beer was nice. The music was good. After about 3 hours of eating, talking, drinking, eating and talking, we ordered shots for the road. Jose Cuervo. A nice end to a nice night, good company and great music.

[Sidestory two] The Boys and myself, once found ourself in this very fine Irish pub in Chicago. 11 buttery nipples, 14 pints of Guinness and other assorted delights later, I found myself in a very gracious state towards my provider for the night, a wonderful waitress by the name of Katie. I remember going up to her, asking for 'more of them nipples'. Giggles. More flirting. 'Thank you, you guys were the best' note on the bill. I went to the same pub when I was back in Chicago last year, about 6 months later. She was still there. And she got me a nipple, on the house. And she also re-autographed the bill, touched as she was that I held onto it for so long.

So there we were in the cab, when I notice something shiny in his hands. "What the heck is that ? Since when did you start with the bling-bling?" I says. "Its a shot glass", says the red handed thief. "Don't tell me you stole a shot glass from the place !". Yup, he did ! The logic being that he paid over and above the price of the liquor anyway for the shot, so he might as well take the glass.

Moral of the story: Don't go out drinking with kleptos. And if you do, blog about them. They make for good near-death-boring posts.

Hypermesh

2005-05-31T04:42:00.000-07:00

It is a well understood fact as to exactly how small this whole crazy planet is. I have experienced it many a time over the course of my inconsequential existence - both in the real world and in the blog world. So, what I am about to relate does not necessarily 'take the cake' in terms of its freak occurrence, but rather in terms of the magnitude of freakishness.

So there I was, bored to death at work on a Thursday. I run through the list of blogs, looking for updates and or new comments. In a moment of desperation, lest I die of boredom right there, I sent out a 'aren't you bored, lets make friendship' email to a fellow blogger, who we shall call Kanika. She being the kind, equally bored soul that she is, replied. It quickly became a Gmail chat, and after a few a/s/l like exchanges, we realized that we had a whole bunch of common friends in the real world. The conversation went something like this:

Kanika: So do you remember Sanjay from your college ?
Me: Yeah of course ! I know him really, really well !
Kanika: Yeah, Sanjay is the ex-boyfriend of yours truly ;)
Me: Whoa !! So you know Panchi !! You know my dear Panchi ?!?!
Kanika: Of course !! One of my best friends in school !

And so on. I would go on, but coming up with false names for all the people involved would be near impossible - it was like everyone we know. And vice versa. Anyways, she stumbles upon my Flickr site and-

Kanika: Hey ! Is that Christine in that picture ?
Me: WHAT !! Don't tell me you know her too !! But how ? She has no connections to the other crowd !!
Kanika: YES !! I DO !!! We had mutual friends in college !

Yeah, like I said, freaky. Its like this intricate web of connections, all springing forth from all sorts of directions ! Trying to think about it, throws my head up in knots. Many a drunken post-party conversation has been spent in trying to catch up with friends and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends and so on. In any case, it was great fun hanging out with the crew again - a nice mix of the old and the new (new to me atleast). Its nice to know that along the way, you have made enough friends to last a lifetime or two ! Enough to be able to sit back and relax in the company of people you have just met, but feel like you have known for years.

To Kanika and the rest of the crew, thanks a ton ! It was an awesome weekend !

In other news, the rollercoaster ride that I've been on, shot to new heights and is currently stabilizing. Somehow thrilling just doesn't quite capture it any more !

The Saga of Anakin Skywalker

2005-05-26T03:04:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I saw Star Wars. I remember my cousin running into my room with this VHS tape, bouncing against the walls with excitement, yelling at me to watch it. I remember him telling me, in a rushed breath nearing hyper-ventilation, about this great story of intergalactic star fights and a princess and a Rebellion... and most importantly, the most kick-ass villian ever conceived - Darth Vader. I remember hearing that name for the first time - it instilled a sense of fear in me that to this day, gives me goosebumps. I hadn't even seen the movie and I was already afraid of telling Darth Vader that the Rebels had escaped ! The name introduced the boy in me to the notion of using fear as a motivator. It was and still is, in my opinion, the best movie bad guy name ever !

I watched the movie and was, as is the case with any teen who watches Star Wars for the first time around, completely blown away. The special effects were awesome, the story was something out of this world. But in the end, it wasn't any of those things that stuck with me. It was the names. Luke Skywalker. Princess Leia. Han Solo. Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Millenium Falcon. Darth Vader. Those names set me wondering, more than the characters themselves, about the universe they lived in. The universe that we got such a tantalizingly fleeting glimpse of. The names were such perfect representations of the characters themselves - Luke Skywalker, innocent, young, destined for great things, Han Solo - a rebel, a world weary fighter. They set a young teen on a journey that finally came full circle this past weekend. It has been a good ride, albeit with a few rude bumps along the way. Inspite of all of George Lucas's sufferings, Star Wars still remains one the most defining sagas in movie history.

It is the the saga of Darth Vader. He is Star Wars. Episode I: The Phantom Menace to Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. It is the story of Anakin Skywalker - a name that I will forever associate with glorious tragedy, of having the potential to attain levels of greatness others couldn't even dream about, but instead falling, twisted beyond darkness, to the greatest of depths. Anakin, a name, that will forever resonate with the anguish, pain and immense responsibility of confused youth, of love, of destiny and in the end, of hope.

Cathartic

2005-05-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

A phone call that drove the last nail into a coffin that long needed closure. A best friend, getting a taste of how my life has changed. A best friend, liking what he sees. New friends and new expriences. Entertaining theatre. Thrilling auto rides in near flash flood conditions. Arsenal winning. Great beer and better music. Scrumptuous vegetarian thalis. A race that bore witness to the last days of a dying horse. Seedy night clubs. A moderately entertaining finale to one of the greatest sagas in the history of science fiction. More rain and more powercuts. A dying project at work.

And amidst all this, a thrilling new roller coaster ride.

That was my weekend. I can breathe now.

Sing me a memory

2005-05-18T13:04:00.000-07:00

Over the days, thanks to the current traffic conditions prevailing in Bangalore, my iPod has been doing overtime. On these rides, that seem like one unending crawl towards the red light, the iPod becomes much more than just an MP3 player. It becomes my own personal time machine. The powerful scent of memories that spears through my senses, as the familar tune comes to life. The faces that fill my vision. A couple of numbers from the ever changing, ever growing soundtrack of my existence -

Lets get rocked - Def Leppard - Bhatty and the summer before I joined college. Those evenings we would sit in his room, after having lost yet another cricket match to Subbu and Co., his neighbor's huge labrador, Cleo, sniffing our crotches every now and then, sipping some of that awesome lemonade...

Where is the love ? - Black Eyed Peas - Ever since I read this, I can't seem to be able to listen to this song, without a mental picture of her, bopping around to it.

Baby got back - Sir Mix-A-Lot - The boys. In March 2004, me and the boys rented a Chevy Astro and decided to take a little road trip. To Iowa. I only wish you could have seen the look on the face of the man at the gas station, right smack dab in the mid of mid-western United States, when he saw an Astro pull up, and 8 brown folk get out of it. Priceless... oh, and we guys learnt all the lines of this song over that trip. And I sing this song now, to T. For obvious reasons ;)

Wonderwall - Oasis - Umm... yeah... lets not go there, shall we ?

When the tigers broke free - Pink Floyd - Reddy and Sam. The time me and Reddy sat up all night, working on The CD. And The Poster. Or the time... no... wait... can't talk about that one. Or maybe... nope... can't say anything about that either. Damn, I don't think we have ever done anything that I can ever safely admit to having done !

I see you baby - Groove Armada - Do I really have to spell it out ?

There are oh! so many more. But, I'm tired now, and my battery is running out. Recharge. Both myself and the iPod.

Wham, Bam, Thank You Maam

2005-05-15T11:51:00.000-07:00

Went out Saturday night with Shree [a fine lady I met about two months ago] and a bunch of her friends. Nice times were had by all. Dancing, drinking, puffing away on my Don Diego and hookas. She made dancing with glasses on, look cool. Hats off to you, missy !
If you have longer than shoulder length hair and are in a crowded club, realise that your hair will get wet and sticky because of the smoke and the warmth. And if you plan on flailing it about, please, have a care for the poor soul dancing next to you. Wet, clumped hair stings.
I had the most entertaining conversation imaginable with an auto-wallah today. An excerpt follows -

Driver: Saar... aap padthe ho ya kaam karthey ? (Do you study or work?)
Me: Kaam karthey. (I work)
Driver: Where you from, saar ?
Me: Madras.
Driver: Appo, tamil theriyumma ? (Then, you know Tamil ?)
Me: Yes.
Driver: I know 6 language. English, Hindi, Kannda, Telugu, Malayalam, Marathi. Name, saar ?
Me: Vignesh
Driver: My name is Baasha, saar. Manik Basha. Namma big Rajni fan, saar !
Me: Oh ! Good !
[And so the interrogation continues. What do my parents do ? Where do I work ? Do I smoke ? Do I drink ? Do I eat meat ? and so on. Soon, we get to more interesting matters]
Basha: You have lover, saar ?
Me: Ummm... no.
Basha: I have two, saar. One arranged marriage. One I arranged.
Me: Ummm... good ?!?
Basha: One boy. Other one girl. Saar marriage over ?
Me: No.
Basha: Enjoy saar now. I am sex baasha saar. Now, marriage. If I feel bejaar I go to college, saar. Mount Carmel, RV, sit outside and watch, saar.
Me: Excellent !
[By now, looking for the camera hidden in the auto, recording my reactions. More details about this two timing life followed. Details that I could have done without. And finally we reach our destination]
Basha: Thank you, saar.[shaking hands] Basha, saar, Manik Basha.

Sometimes, when I look deep in your eyes, I swear I can see your soul

2005-05-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

Memories of the past few days are so crowded into my head that it almost seems impossible to separate one from the other. The horrid drive through the Western Ghats. The heat of a small West Karnataka town. The crappy showerhead. The extravagant wedding. The smell of jasmine.

She was looking right at me, as I walked up to her, with the rest of our friends. She smiled as I spoke to the man who would take her away from me. As I congratulated him, telling him what a wonderful person she is. She laughed at our jokes, pleased that we both got along so well. She looked so proud. She looked so happy.

As I handed her her gift, our finger brushed against each others'. I looked up at her eyes, to see them welled up with tears. Of happiness at having found the person who completes her. Of sadness at having to leave. Tears that meant a whole lot more than a smile could ever convey, to show how much we mean to each other.

Here's to someone I have know for what seems my entire life. My best friend. Thank you, for always being there. For always arguing. For always understanding.

Thank you, for sharing your soul and letting me share mine.

Put a song in this heart of mine...

2005-05-06T17:37:00.000-07:00

Ah, my first really buzzed post-party post. I'm following formats set by the other great bloggers (I wanted to link someone else to the word 'bloggers' but I'm way too buzzed right now to even bother with it) out there, who regularly have better, more fun lives than the rest of us do (though some of them claim that it is work so its not really fun, it just sounds like fun). The format being, start talking about what happened over the evening, and use a song as the title of the post.

I went to the party a bit late, having had to pick up some unexpected co-passengers. The Bacardi was appreciated, along with my version of Flaming Moz shots. There was a lot of dancing, cake cutting in view of a friends departure and an engagement. No celebrities were sighted. Not many media personalities either (there was a smattering of Page 3 crowd, but they were mostly harmless). Just some nice people, who are quickly morphing into awesome friends.

T was there. Having heartily followed my own advice (pun intented) though, I felt fairly safe and secure. Alcohol or no. I heard once, that its when you start thinking from here (your head) rather than from here (your heart), its time to realise you are getting old(er). *sigh*

In the end, many shots and many beers later, many photographs of many wonderful couples, many videos of many hilarious stories of drunken youth, many loopy driving directions to drop many people off at many different places, I'm back where I started. In more ways that one.

Stronger. Wiser. And definitely happier.

Puts a song
In this heart of mine
Puts a smile on my face every time

'Cause I love a rainy night
Yes I love a rainy night
Ooh I love a rainy night
Yeah I love a rainy night

PS: Formula One weekend at Taika on Sunday people. Brought to you by the fine people at Fosters. If you plan to attend, do track down the crazed fan with the huge ass Ferrari flag.

Pre-weeked list

2005-05-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

Music, check.
Bacardi 151° and Romana White Sambuca, check.
Filled up zippo, check.
Canon s230, two batteries, 512mb CF card and cute little tripod, check.
Red Bull to last the night, check.

Leave your heart at home, 'coz you know, it can only phuck things up and get in the way of a nice, clean fun evening. Check ;)

The wind's reply

2005-05-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

After 2 months of being with her. After 2 months of making people wonder. After 2 months of behaving just aloof enough to save from being rude and at the same time quell any dangerous ideas. After 2 months of carefully placed 'thambi's in carefully constructed replies to carefully written messages. After 2 months of not even thinking about it. After 2 months of experiencing that wonderfully curious and alarmingly nice sensation of this-isnt-love-ing someone. After 2 months of wondering if you have arrived yet.

After 4 shows, 2 parties and 8 alcoholic beverages, realising that what we have is better than love. Knowing that the choice is ours to make. Knowing that either way, we can't lose. Knowing that either way, you don't want to budge from where you are right now. Realising, as I sat next to her - 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' playing loud - looking into her eyes, that maybe I, unlike Bono, have. Just maybe, I have.

To continue what a very wise woman once said, the wind replies - Yes. Fly like you have never flown before.

I can hear it. Can't you ?

Of sandwiches and thambis

2005-05-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

I shall be there at 630. Want me to get something to eat ?

Almost as soon as I sent the message, the phone buzzed. It was T.

T: So, sweetie, what time are you getting here ?
Me: I'm catching the 5:30 bus, so should be there before 6:30. Should I get something to eat ?
T: Sure. After you are done, wait at the corner. And listen, you are riding today.
Me: Yup. So how come you sound so happy today ?
T: Oh, nothing. Just... you are so sweet !
Me: Ummm... what do you want ? I already said I would get food. What else now ?
T: So are you going to ask me out to dinner ?
Me: Yeah, now that you said it... heheh... no da... listen I need to go and get some stuff done, so I will see ya at 6:30.

Later on the bus...

Me: Should I call her and find out if she wants a sandwich or a burger ? I have called her once already today. She will probably think I'm over doing it. But then again, I bought a sandwich on Friday. Should I get the same thing again ? Would that come across as being too boring ? Should I get her a chicken sandwich this time ? But then again, I wouldn't eat it, so she would have to herself. She would know that I bought it only for her. But that might be too much again... damn it... why do I care so much ? Double damn...

Want sandwich or burger ?

Phone rings.

T: Where are you, sweetie ?
Me: On the way...
T: What burger ?
Me: Just wanted to know if you want a burger or a sandwich...
T: Aw, thats so sweet of you. Either one, I'm not fussy.

Bought a sandwich. Waiting at the corner. She looked so nice in her formal work shirt and trousers.

T: Here, you ride.

Handing me the keys, she sat behind me on the scooty and took her helmet off. Her hair, oh my, her hair ! The wind through her wonderful curls, the way she was holding onto me. And then she said something that made me laugh out loud.

T: So you are my thambi kutti right ?
Me: Of course I am !

Over the course of the evening, she and I had about 3 fights. I tried to pin her to the ground and she got 4 or 5 kicks in. We laughed a lot. She pinched my cheeks about 5 times. She would go upto to K now and then, hold him and they would whisper. Making sure I could see.

It is such a battle - trying to figure out if you stay where you are or take a step forward. Oh, this is going to be fun. A whole truckload of fun !

I need a haircut and...

2005-05-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

There is nothing quite like an afternoon siesta, after a hearty three course tambram lunch, cooked with immense love by a dear aunt. Especially in front of a cousin, as she sweats over her final year project.
This house hunt is really getting to me now. I spent the whole of last week trying to see this one house (various phuckups with the owner, agent and myself ensured that none of us could be in the same place at the same time). I finally managed to see it today morning. It was lovely, exactly what I wanted. And just my luck, the very day I decide to rent the damn place, the owner gets an offer he can't refuse. Leaving me at square one.
I missed The Truman Show on TV tonite. I absolutely love that movie. A friend of mine was depressed for a whole week after he saw that movie. Not cause it moved him so much or anything like that, but rather because he was so pissed with himself for not having thought of the idea for the movie in the first place. But I did see Pitch Black later in the night. The Im-a-bad-guy-but-Im-so-cool-that-I-could-be-the-good-guy character never had it better than Riddick. I was a bit disappointed with The Chronicles, but I guess they still have a chance to redeem themselves.
I used a sewing machine for the first time in my life today. I have 'used' one before, but then my mom made me promise I would never touch it after my attempts at stitching my cousin's glove. While his hands were still in it. Anyhoo, I had bought a few pants at a sale and they needed their height fixed. Makes for quick work with that machine. I never knew how complicated the mechanisms behind that machine were ! The things one learns on a Sunday evening !
I finally finished reading Quicksilver (The Baroque Cycle, Vol. 1) by Neal Stephenson . I cannot tell you know amazing it is. Read it. Its frelling awesome.
One of my best friends, someone I've known all the way from 5th grade, is getting married later this month. I've been spending a whole lotta time with her over the last few months, especially over the past two weeks. She left on Saturday. I guess when I see her the next time, she will be married. I'm not sure how things between us are going to change, considering shes like the best friend of the fairer sex I've ever had and all that. But I do know one thing fer sure - I'm going to miss her so much !

The greatest story ever told

2005-04-29T02:59:00.000-07:00

Recorded live at the ECE Winter Party '04, through the crayola marker weilding, drunken hands of geeky graduate students, comes a story traversing a veritable universe of literary constellations - all the way from rednecks to Ron Jeremy, through dragons, transvestites and dwarves - bringing joy to the hearts of all who read it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Greatest Story Ever Told.

Submitted to Intl. Conf. on What You Did This Weekend

2005-04-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

For the case under consideration, let us focus on the time period stretching from t1=21.Apr.2005 to t2=24.Apr.2005. Using the measurement techniques described in Sec 2.1, we have arrived at the following plot of the subject, VG's, 'Quality and Fun Curve' over several recreational activities during this time period. The Fun Curve indicates the level of fun subject VG experienced at event marked. The Quality Curve indicates the unbiased quality index of the event, as per the subject.

Several valuable deductions can be made with the help of this empirical data -

The presence of a catalytic agent, in the form of subject AL (also refered to as 'best friend since 5th grade' by subject VG) can create a boost in the Fun Curve, even at potentially brain hemorrage inducing events such as Chandramukhi.
The inherently classic nature of movies such as Evil Dead will never change. This is proven by the fact that subject VG, was awake till 3AM IST on Saturday, 23.Apr.2005, watching this movie, often found yelling - 'Sam Raimi is so frelling awesome' and 'Bruce Campbell is so frelling awesome'.
Item 2, stated above, does not provide a complete appreciation of the subject VG's tastes. As is apparent, Cinema Paradiso produced quite a response in both data values.
Subject VG's passion for scarlet, along with their dismal perfomance at the qualifiers of the San Marino Grand Prix was the major cause of the release of depression causing chemicals on Saturday night. This was in addition to the depression caused as realisation dawned on subject that he had lost count of the number of Saturdays spent alone at home.
In support of Item 5, even a movie of the sterling nature of Pirates of the Caribbean was unable to raise the Fun Curve to safe levels.
In what will go down in history as one of the best Formula 1 races ever, subject finds himself experiencing the peak of both curves for the time period's entertainment. Subject was spotted running around a certain nightclub in Bangalore, sporting a 'huge-ass' Scuderia Ferrari flag. This curious behavior, having started towards the latter portion of the race, only became worse when, taunted by a single Renault fan, subject caused quite a stir by asking for the tifosi in the house to gather around. A slight deflation of spirit was caused when the cute lady our subject was conversing with chose to leave for the night, only to rise much higher than before when, upon leaving, she sent a message to his mobile device, inquiring about his availability for dinner (will be covered in TR-334, hopefully, for time period t1=25.Apr.2005 to t2=29.Apr.2005).

In conclusion, we can see that certain aspects of the human condition (loneliness - apparent from the experience at the play, testosterone-ness - apparent from the experience with beer, fast cars and cute ladies) primarily govern the Fun and Quality Curve. Any discrepancies can be safely attributed to the medical condition referred to as 'being totally phucked in the head'.

51 syllables

2005-04-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

A stuffy nose. Laziness coupled with post-lunch trauma. An impressive memory.

nightingale singing
fragrance like a warm blanket
a stolen pleasure

The haiku above is dedicated to a most wonderful, beautiful and interesting woman whom I have recently had the pleasure of meeting. A woman I cannot wait to get to know better.

emotional sounds
a rampage of love and faith
a shoulder to weep

The second one was written for a friend, who I think needs someone to sit her down and tell her how special she is. Anyone game for a cheer-up trip to Chennai ?

Walking the talk...

2005-04-15T03:58:00.000-07:00

I had a rant planned about this very pretty girl I was sitting behind on the bus to work today. The rough wind though the windows, streaming through her wet hair, ushered in some sort of divine fragrance into the bus. I just sat there, behind her, wondering... I can’t seem to write about it, without sounding extremely desperate. I am not a poet. I think I shall leave that fragrant memory as it is. A fragrance.

I had a rant planned about Madras. About how much I love the place. About how much I miss the place. Was almost about to write about it, when I realized that’s its not as much Madras as I miss, as it is the people I knew when I was in Madras.

I have about 10 saved drafts in Blogger, but I don’t feel like working on any of them right now. Even more ideas in my little blogpost scratch pad.

In the end, just like this work week, it’s a case of thinking too much and doing very little.

A non-poetic, mis-informed, procrastinating, over-analyzer. Yep, that about sums it up.

Have a great weekend, y'all.

Worst post ever

2005-04-13T01:26:00.000-07:00

The way I see it now, when you leave college, you leave behind the ability to make great friends. Friends-for-life kinda friends. As one such friend of mine put it, friends who would 'sit in traffic on Mount Road for you'. Well, maybe nothing that drastic, but great friends none the less. You gather acquaitances, you foster a bit of relationship with some people. The real deal is long gone, missed the boat and all that kinda stuff.

I figured out what I'm going to say to my son, lying on my deathbed -
'Come... closer... closer... the treasure... its... the treasure... is buried... under...' *croak*.

and/or

'Come... closer... closer... your... your mother and... I... we never...' *croak*

I firmly beleive in The Uncertainty Principle. In life, you can never have any two things that you want, at the same time. The more you have of one, the less you have of the other. The more you look, the lesser are the chances that you will actually find what you started out looking for. 'Coz by that time either your idea of what it is that you want or the thing you are looking for, will have changed.

I have a heap of laundry to do. I have no clothes to wear next week. I went out and bought some more pants 'coz I ruined my favorite black work trousers. But I can't wear them, because those guys didn't fix the height... so back to soiled khakis for the rest of the week !

The second statement that I hold to be universally true is that at a high enough level of abstraction, everything is true. I have used this successfully in many technical and not-so technical discussions. Works like a charm to supplant that adage - if you can't convince them, confuse them !

I'm trying so hard now, it hurts. Trying hurts. Not trying hurts even more.

I have three bruises on my right hand, two on my left leg and one on my right knee. Most of them are because T beats me up too much. One is because she 'accidentally' dropped a scissor on my leg yesterday. The last is because I don't know how to stagefight nor do I know how to break my fall.

I had a third, I forget what it is now. So much for living with universal truths.

Busy busy

2005-04-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

Been busy with this... do come and watch. I highly recommend it. Its coming along quite nicely.

Contact me if you are in Bangalore and need tickets. If you aren't in Bangalore and you still want tickets, contact me all the same ;)

Warmth from 20 odd candles

2005-04-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

In the pursuit of flowers. In the pursuit of colors. The feeling of feeling. Dreaming of dreams. Dreaming of Being. Does holding a handful of Sky, hide the Sun?

whoa, this pool joint is great. i tell ya, there were sooo many chiks there like u wouldnt believe. and guess who else was there ? i finally convinced LB 2 come with us. the guys were awesomely happy 2 have her around... if u get what i mean !!!! but yeah, its my birthday today !!! first one in college and all that... pardddy time !!! hope mom doesnt freak out at the curfew break again or something...hope G got da booze...

Perfectly alone. A complex structure built out of needles, crashing down. A senseless pile of needles. Concentration reveals patterns that are painful to recognize. Rebuilding is difficult, amidst the pricks of a thousand needles.

My first birthday with her. I cannot begin to tell you how great this feels ! Its perfect. The setting is perfect. My gift is perfect. The food is perfect. She is perfect. Life... is perfect. I don't think there is anything more that I could want right now. Anything more might actually ruin this. And I don't want anything to ruin this. Nothing.

Never being able to point to that exact moment that it came crashing down. Never being able to stop it. Never being able to hold on. With bleeding hands, never being able to let go.

This could be my last birthday with her. So much uncertainty, so much pain at parting. Whoever said all that bullshit about parting being sweet sorrow, was talking outta their arse. This sucks. So many things that were on both our minds during dinner. So many questions. So many unknowns. But we didn't say anything. We spoke about this and that. About life passing by.

Stirred by love. Moved by unkempt emotions. Intangible. Insurmountable. Moved by faith. Having faith in faith. Fear moves, as well as faith.

I'm still waiting for her call. This will be my last birthday away from her. By this time next year, I will be with her. I am going back home. To her. To my life.

What now ? Run ? Hide ? To find beauty in being alone. In just Being. Never to return again ? Never to see again ? Never to touch again ?

Beauty untouched by hand is cold. Warmth is what my soul craves. Warmth is what I need. A few candles in a cake.

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday dear me,
Happy birthday to me.

Thanks Neha !

2005-04-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

Too tired for a full post...

Love from Google isn't what its cracked up to be.

Number one keyword search leading to my blog - vignesh.

Number two ? - nose digging.

Thanks, Neha !

For a Bawstonian who doesn't believe

2005-04-05T10:17:00.000-07:00

Top Ten Reasons Kirk is better than Picard

10. Kirk never once, ever,wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on shore leave.
9. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign.
8. Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up.
7. When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he MEANS it.
6. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick.
5. Picard's crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object.
4. Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed.
3. Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets.
2. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail.
1. One Word: Balls.

Pulling a Sagnik

2005-04-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

Are plunging necklines called so, 'coz you want to plunge right into them ?

Har har har ! I made a funny ! I pulled a Sagnik !

What is it about me ?

2005-04-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

Alright, I need help ! I need to figure this out.

Every individual of the opposite sex I have met (in real life) in the last 6 months has, within the first half hour of talking to me, evinced a clear, keen urge to inflict bodily harm on my person. Its usually stated as a smiling threat, as a funny proposition that would hurt a lot if carried out and in 2/5 cases has been carried out. Especially in the case of my 'akka', who takes immense pleasure in trying out her kickboxing lessons on me.

Today, though, was a record - in a matter of 20 minutes, this girl I had just met said, in all smiles -

"I wish there was a bucket of water around, so I could crash it into your head."

Zero buckets of water later, we proceeded to have a wonderful, hourlong conversation on all things Ray, filled with all sorts of witty, charming remarks from yours truly. If not for the fact that her dad was right there - already pretty upset with me for accidentally crashing my knee into his son, A's, family jewels - I would have proceeded to ask her her number.

Hmmm... maybe I can ask A for his sister's number !! Tricky !! Dangerous even. But not impossible !! As I said, I'm on a roll and there is very little that one cannot achieve when one truly believes one is experiencing said circular motion-ish sensations of coolness.

Spreading the sweetness and light

2005-04-02T23:10:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to apologize to the curious masses [well, maybe not masses, rather a few... well, alright, ONE !] who are wondering if I am back in Bangalore or still in the west. I realise that from my blog one would have no clue as to my whereabouts. This post shall make that all very clear in, what I hope, shall be an amusingly cute anecdotal sorta fashion.

Flight 9W 511, from Kolkatta to Bangalore, via Hyderabad. Thursday, 31st March, 2005. The cutest in-flight personnel I have ever come across. Ever.

Me: *standing near the loo, waiting for Large Man to exit, wondering if Cute In-Flight Person was doing serious damage to her hair with that tight-in-a-bun hairstyle*
Cuter-IFP: *walking down the aisle, lugging a kid, aged around 7 or 8* Now, you sit right here. Buckle up and call us if you need anything. *to the other IFPs* We have an un-escorted minor in 31 alpha.
Me: *to the Cutest-IFP* Hmmm... could I be an un-escorted major?
Cutest-IFP: *extremely cute, IFP-ish giggle* Why sir? You feel you need to be taken care of too?
Me: Yeah, am starting to feel pretty lonely on these flights.
*Large Man exits, I go into the loo. Will spare you the details of the next few minutes.*
Cutest-IFP: *me walking to my seat* Here you go, sir ! Enjoy your flight ! *handing me a coloring book and the JetKids pack*
Me: *not to be outdone at my own flirting game* Wooooww !! Just what I wanted... I'm all giggly with joy ! *run back to my seat and start coloring*
Cutest-IFP: *walking by checking transit passenger luggage, sees me coloring, with wax crayons* You must be kidding ! *visibly amused, with a smile that actually touches her eyes*
Me: Nope ! *best smile and all* I gotta beat 31 alpha at this, now don't I !

We take off and I am still coloring. And shortly thereafter, I think everyone but the cockpit crew came by to talk to me about the wax crayons and my love for coloring notebooks. I still cannot comprehend the number of jokes I made about coloring within the lines and following the sequence of numbers when I connect the dots (thanks Calvin !). Even the DropDeadGorgeous-IFP from Business Class came by and smiled, delivering a complimentary remark !

By the end of the flight, I had completed one section of the coloring book. Cutest-IFP was totally impressed with my perseverance, hovering about talking to me about all sorts of things.

Cutest-IFP: Its wonderful to have people like yourself on these flights, Vignesh *yes, we were on a first name basis by then* Its tough to keep smiling all the time, when you really don't mean it *wink* Helps a lot when we have people like you around !
Me: Thank you ! Though I have to admit, its really easy to be happy, especially around someone as cheerful and as charming as yourself !

It went on like this for a while. We discussed her flight schedules, and how her social life takes quite a beating because of that. We exchanged phone numbers and she said she would call if she was ever in Bangalore for more than an hour !

I would be awesomely surprised if she ever does. But that isn't the point. On a personal level for me this is me getting back to who I used to be. Before all the bad things started to happen. This was me in school - generally happy with life and not afraid to show it. This was me in college -not afraid of making a fool of myself, going out on a limb to do stupid stuff that I thought was fun. This is me healing.

I really should get back to reading more of Wodehouse. This spreading the sweetness and light business is good fun !

The Man On My Back

2005-04-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

I had a different post planned for today. It needs a bit more work and I will post that sometime over the weekend. In the meanwhile, I was reading this and thought that I should share it with you. I initially read it close on the heels of writing this, but I didn't get my hands on the book in which it was published till now.

The Man On My Back

               The man on my back
               Hates my guts
               Gives me no rest
               Spurns all I love best

The man on my back
Tears my dreams apart
Ravages my heart
Give him enough rope
He'll strangle every hope

               The man on my back
               He's a killer
               Kills the boy in me
               And the man that would be;
               The man on my back
               My replica.

- Pradip Sen, published in 'And Then The Sun - poems by Pradip Sen' © 1960, 1975 Pradip Sen.

Quick draw synapses

2005-03-29T22:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, relaxation. Sitting around on the balcony of an idyllic guesthouse, sipping my coffee, watching all these college kids stream past, one starts to reminisce one's wonder years.

Ahhh, yes. College. Such sweet memories of all those wonderful friends, of all those bunked classes, of all those times we hitched a ride on basically any available means of transport - be it bullock cart or flatbed trailer - to get back to civilization... ahh, yes, those we fun days indeed...

Synaptic Lockdown Mechanism HQ *alarm bells blaring* This is Gen. Grey Matter. Code Red everyone, the nincompoop is at it again, trying to fire the Forbidden Synapses. Sources tell me that we are in an alcohol deprived zone... We need to stop him before it gets too late... Battlestations everyone, battlestations !

...great friends, great times, indeed. I remember the time, L refused to bunk college coz it was too hot outside and me and P wanted to get to the city pretty bad. There was someone else there with us that day...

*red lights, sirens going off*
Lt.: Sir, he is getting too close.
Gen.: I know, Lt., I know.
Lt.: Sir, shall we initiate shutdown ?
Gen.: Not yet. Deploy Plan DD.
Lt.: Plan DD ! Are you sure, sir ?!?!
Gen.: Just do it, godammit !

... ahh, P. What a body ! Man I remember the time she was wearing that wonderful dress for the party at R's. Dancing with her was heaven in two cups of joy ! But I didn't go with her to that party... Who did I go with to that party ?

*Call from Hippocampus Command*
Command: Gen., we've held him off for as long as we can. He is right at our doorstep... We can't hold off these synapses for ever ! We need reinforcements !
Gen.: I'm givin it all I got, sir !
Lt.: We are losing him, sir ! It's too early to initiate shutdown !
Gen.: I know Lt., I know. What I wouldn't give for a sign of some vodka now !

... I went with ... her ! Goddammit !! Why did I have to think about her now ?!?!?! Damn you, brain !

*Death and destruction reigns, defeated, Gen. Grey Matter, lies bruised*
Rally the troops ! We were caught off guard today, he fired them Forbidden Synapses too darn quick. But someday men, someday, we shall prevail ! Time, shall show them axons for their true worth... revelling in memories long dead... move on men, move on. There are other days, other battles.

Ahhh...

2005-03-29T05:31:00.000-08:00

Some unwind time... time to relax in a nice serene setting, take in the scent of the trees and the flowers. Have leisurely strolls with nothing but my own thoughts for company. For the most part it seems to be working. The restlessness seems to be ebbing away. I am finding these multiple trains of thought, rather enjoyable. I came up with a couple of neat ideas for the apartment, hit upon a new way of delivering a line I've been struggling with for a while, came up with two (count em, two !) somewhat decent pickup lines, atleast three ideas for blogposts and even managed to figure out something thats been bothering me a whole lot at work. You might even go as far as saying that this resting period is just what the doctor ordered. Nourishing to both body and mind, getting the juices flowing in just the right quantities.

And at the risk cementing in your minds that I have absolutely nothing to say, I shall finish with a quote, from a man who loves to spread sweetness and light as much as I love to receive it -

"The advice I give to every young man starting out to seek a life partner is to find a girl whom he can tickle." - Fredrick Altamont Cornwallis Twistleton, fifth Earl of Ickenham [Uncle Dynamite, P G Wodehouse]

powray kautha hawbay

2005-03-26T10:25:00.000-08:00

After an eventful two days of the three day weekend and many good meals later, I slowly realise one inevitable truth about my life -I suck at packing. I always forget something - thanks to the zillion consumer electronics devices I carry, it usually ends up being a charger that I forgot. Not to mention the mismatched clothes I always end up with.

Anyways, I'm off to hobnob with the intellectual elite at IIT-KGP till the 31st. It is going to be unbelievably boring days of conferences, followed by what I hope will be good networking. One can only hope...

I shall miss you all, unbearably so.

Unconditional love

2005-03-23T22:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the stupid mofos at BESCOM, I have been without electricty at my apartment for the last 4 days. They claim I haven't paid my bill... a receipt of which I deposited with them 2 days ago. Anyways, thanks to that, I've been getting three scrumptuous meals a day, at my aunt's place. There I was sitting there, reading my Uncle Fred Omnibus, when,

Periups (dad's elder brother): Look at this lazy lump, sitting there doing nothing useful. Come and help me iron my shirts. [Basically press the shirts, for my American readers, if there are any]
Me: Periups, I was actually thinking about asking you to iron mine.
P: Dei somberi [lazy bugger, in Tamil], when I was your age, your father and myself, we used to wash and iron your grandfather's clothes everyday before we went to college. And now you want me to iron yours ?
[Paternal granny walks in]
P: Amma, look at this boy, look at what he is asking me to do. He should be doing it for me and instead...
Granny: Yes, he just got back from a tiring day outside [This was Tuesday, the day I took off from work and was at a movie and later at Landmark. While my Periups had to go to work.]. Let him rest. Why don't you do that atleast for him ?
Me: *triumphant smile*
P: *looking at me, smiling* See, such is her love for you....

Yes, unconditional love rocks.

Lost in Lost in Translation

2005-03-22T21:23:00.000-08:00

It was the first time I didn't want them to get together. Don't do it, I screamed. Don't do anything to screw this up. What you have now is far too precious to even risk losing. Don't touch her. Don't kiss her. Just be with her. Wonderful thoughts. Wonderfully subtle thoughts conveyed through brilliant acting and a way too pretty co star.

I walked out of the movie in a daze of sorts, thinking about nothing in particular. Thinking about all sorts of things. Thoughts totaling 42. I was cursing myself for not having asked my favorite literary person and yours for recommendations on a good book to buy.

It happened as I was experiencing the curiously enjoyable sensations one suffers when walking down a downward moving escalator. She was walking up the ascending escalator. I noticed her smile, losing myself in the moment for a good while, till I stumbled off the end of the horrid machine. She hadn't noticed me. Nor the stumble.

Later at Landmark, I spotted her again. By virtue of walking too close to a precariously balanced display of books, she tripped a box on the floor in which the said books arrived. This box in turn tripped the display, which promptly came crashing to the ground. She wheeled around and looked straight at me. I made it clear that it was indeed her fault, giving her my best 'Its your fault, but its ok' smile.

Me: Yup, they are going to make you buy all of them now.
She: *sweet smile*
Me: It was their mistake, for the really precarious arrangement.
She: *sweeter smile* Yeah.
Me: umm...
She: *sweeter yet smile, walking away*

I discreetly followed her for a while, but she didn't stop in any one section long enough for me to start a conversation. She left the store soon after that, leaving me to continue my hunt for that one book that I wanted to buy. I didn't know what it was, I was just looking.

I never found it, instead I settled for something I was comfortable with. Something I knew I was safe with. Something I knew.

An Uncle Fred Omnibus.

[ If the person who tripped the display of books at the entrance to Landmark, at The Forum in Bangalore on Tuesday afternoon, does read this, do get in touch with me. I would love to explain to you in more detail as to how all of that was not your fault ;) ]

Things I learnt over the weekend

2005-03-21T03:47:00.000-08:00

Surprising at it may sound, some auto drivers in Bangalore are actually nice human beings. So much so that it gets annoying. The guy who was driving me around on Sunday morning, stopped to follow every traffic rule, always let pedestrians pass and get this... even stopped when he spotted a stray dog, to feed it a loaf of bread. A new pack of bread, it wasn't something that he wanted to throw away, it was something he bought. For this purpose I guess. When the tab came to Rs.32.50 and I gave him a hundred, he gave me Rs.70 back. Wow !
A finger wet with saliva, in my cousin's ear, still makes her do anything I want. Bring me more food, bring me more candy, give me your share of the plum cake... muhuhahahahhaha !!!
Giving in to pedestrians, while driving, is a sign of weakness. Never display such weakness in public.
Real estate agents are funny creatures. They seem to understand everything you say, when you say it. Then when it comes to utilizing that understanding, they see to completely forget what they previously seem to have understood. 'I want a two bedroom house for ten thousand' seems to translate to 'I want a single bedroom or three bedroom house for anywhere between five thousand to fifteen thousand'. I think I'm just going to have to clean out the single I have now and put up with it.
I have to run, leaving this blog post abpruptly incom...

Summer of '96

2005-03-17T20:56:00.000-08:00

As the song goes, it was the summer of love. My first love, M. In as much as the fond all-too-cutesey affections of two teenagers and the awkwardly tender yet oh-so-lovely touches, can be termed love. I had met her at a party about a year back, through a mutual friend, P. Now, P was a person beyond compare. She was the craziest coot I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. A tomboy to the last molecule of her existence, she and I have had more fun baiting other boys than I have the courage to tell.

Anyways, back to M and me. It goes to show the maturity (or the lack thereof) of the people involved in the relationship, when, over a period of a year of being together, you have NO fights at all. It was a blast... parties, sneaking out and catching a smoke, making sure the either both of us smoke or neither does (coz it used to... umm... intefere with the... tonguing) and all sorts of cute stuff like that. It was all very hush, hush though, acting all friends-like in public, couldn't keep our hands off each other given a moments privacy. All of us, me, P, M, S, Sr and G, got together and buried a time capsule in P's backyard. Come July 31st, 2016, its time to go dig !

Ahh... that was probably the best summer of my entire life. Looking back at the friends, looking back at the uncomplicated-ness of the all those relationships, it almost seems, like a different life. Like a different me. M left for Bombay at the end of that summer. She called me up on my birthday, 4 years later. That was the last I heard of her. I have thought about tracking her down many times after that, only to realise that... sometimes you have to let go, to really have.

To the person whose posts inspired this one, thank you. I'm talking to you. Yes, you.

Ephemeral

2005-03-16T21:39:00.000-08:00

I spent the whole evening yesterday with one of my best friends. Catching up on the wonder years, telling tales to anyone who would listen about how he used to use his baby neices to attract the women in his street and about how I used to propose, down on one knee and all, to my lecturers, both male and female. I met happy people. I met two adorable couples, with two adorable kids. Each. I felt so warm and fuzzy deep down, that it almost made me cry. Everyone was great, the university is doing great. I might have started the ball rolling in a wierd way as far as my interactions with my alma mater go, but its rolling none the less. In all, a nice day. A productive day.

Victorious Roman emperors along with their generals, on their march into Rome, were greeted by festivites of magnificient grandeur. There would be dancers by the thousands, exotic animals from the vanquished lands, defeated enemies brought back as slaves surrounded by the fearsome legions of Rome. Amidst all this, rode the victorious general. Curiously, history has it, that a lone slave rode next to him. On the same chariot as him. Over the general’s head he held a garland of laurel, signifying victory. Into the general’s ear the slave repeatedly whispered a caveat: “All glory is fleeting. All glory is fleeting.”

The things my friends put up with

2005-03-15T11:02:00.000-08:00

Vig: Im getting used to it... and even that scares me
Vig: getting used to loneliness is not something I want to do.
S: What rot... how long has it been since you charged your celly ? Thats usually a good indicator...
Vig: 3 days. I want to die.

A new kind of

2005-03-15T02:50:00.000-08:00

Shes single. Shes smart. She has a great sense of humor. She has the prettiest eyes I have seen in a long time. And that smile, oh, what an infectious smile ! Being with her is great fun, we talk about all sorts of things and are totally comfortable with each other. We rag on each other so much, it gets on other people's nerves. She describes me as an overgrown teddy bear to her friends. And I can't stop telling people what wonderful fun she is.

Oh, and did I mention that I am totally, absolutely, completely un-attracted to her ? And neither is she (I hear the whole lot of you going, of course she isn't. Zip it, people) I call her 'akka' and she calls me 'thambi kutty' (Akka in Tamil means elder sister and thambi means younger brother).

It feels great to be able to make friends again. Feels great to meet someone and not go all on the defensive, building up all sorts of walls... not because you think they are upto something, but because you don't trust yourself. Because you don't trust yourself not to push too hard. Not to push for the wrong things. Not to love for all the wrong reasons.

Yes, readers, I do beleive the traumatic past months have left me pretty f8cked in the head, but... I'm getting there. Yup, I'm getting there.

What DID you DO !!

2005-03-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

People make you feel insignificant, insecure and incompetent, just by being who they are.
A gecko jumped me as I was fishing for a box to keep the yummy plum cake my aunt baked. I screamed like a little girl.
I finished organizing about 1% of my music collection. 30/3000+ songs.
My friend said he would need to move into my apt, starting tonite, for about a month. I actually cleaned up the room for the dimwit and he hasn't shown up yet.
I'm sitting shirtless on a cane chair. Its going to hurt when I get up.
After looking at houses all over Bangalore for the whole day, I think I finally found one. It's on the fourth floor of the building I live in right now. I seem to remember a certain shepherd being in the same situation once...
I am totally one for good ice cream making you feel better about all things in life. Bad ice cream on the other hand, makes me want to crawl into the nearest gutter and die. Hungry. And shirtless.
I remember this street light, back in Chennai, on the street I used to live in. For two years, everytime and I mean, everytime, I walked under it, it would flicker and die. After I cross to a suitable distance, it would come back on. That was the first time someone truly, deeply disliked me. I've learnt to move on.
I love my aunt's plum cake.
It's was someones birthday on the 12th. I forget who. I am a bad person.
Geckos run too fast for any insect repellant spray. A shoe works best.
I miss too many people, too many things. Including Alf.
If George Lucas f8cks this one up too, I will personally... well... I guess I will just suck it up and drink to the death of one the greatest science fiction sagas ever. Like the rest of the world.
I was actually going to put up a different post but then when I started typing the title out, the auto-complete feature in Firefox threw this title up. Hence the post, inspired by a random string thrown up by my browser. And boy, does that show.

Zzzzip

2005-03-11T00:17:00.000-08:00

I'm quite blank right now.

Nothing much to see here. Move along now...

Really.

Rush into a rut

2005-03-09T22:44:00.000-08:00

In my hurry to make my life more interesting, after certain... ummm... bad things happened, I started getting involved with all sorts of things. Things that I never had the courage to do earlier, things that weren't even a part of me. I surprised myself with how bad I was at things I assumed I would be good at and shocked myself by being good at things I was sure I would suck at.

The initial high having worn off, now I feel stuck in a rut. Once again. A more entertaining, non-lonely, active rut. But a rut all the same. Keeping with my concert theme this week, think about entertainers. How must they feel ? They know they are enteraining us immensely with the music that they expertly perform, with the shows they stage, but what do they feel ? How do you find joy in playing the same tunes again and again and again ? Every day ? Every week ?

When do you stop ? And just enjoy what you have... nothing.

Looking in from afar

2005-03-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

What do you see of a person from pixels arranged in a pattern ? What do you see when all you get as a peek into their lives is a few bits and bytes ? Can you see the love ? Can you see the life ? Can you see the laughter ? Can you see the loneliness ?

What do people in an airplane think when fly over a concert down below ? Can you see the rhythm ? Can you see the echoes of a thousand voices ? Can you see me ? Can you see me looking at you ? Do you want to join me ? Or are you busy going some where I can't follow ?

The Ministry of Mark Knopfler

2005-03-07T20:57:00.000-08:00

I have been healed. Negotiations have gone well. I am under complete control of all my internal organs as of now. And I have Mark to thank for all that. With a little help from my medico cousin and doctor parents of course ;) I wish I knew enough about music, particularly his music to be able to write a review of the concert. Wish I could write down the tunes I heard last night, to make you, the reader, feel like you were there. Listening to a master at work. In the end, I guess, all I'm going to say is that for a man with a bad throat, sipping 'indian tea' all the while, he did a mighty fine job !

One other fronts, this week is shaping out to be hectic. Rehearsals everyday evening. Project meetings with P all days of the week. This means that I will probably have to be at work at like 7:30 am or something to make up. Where is the snooze button on life ?

The healing power of music

2005-03-07T01:09:00.000-08:00

My internal organs are very upset with me because of something I ate on Saturday. They staged quite a revolt all of yesterday. And the revolution has not been quieted as of now. No amount of liquids and related mild food groups seem to help. Am currently in negotiations with my tummy, to calm down so I can go listen to Knopfler tonite. And be healed.

Please, tummy, I promise, no more Bacardi for another week. Promise...

Resonances

2005-03-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

CA: Kill them all. Kill the sons of swine.

Destruction. Its from within. Slow, at a snail's pace. A snail that is eating away your soul as it ambles along. Making sure that what is left, looks like a whole, but is poised to crumble at the slightest touch.

C3: Traitors. You are a family of traitors.

You see faces as you walk by. Faces that you think resemble your own, not knowing that it is this thought that changes your face to match what your eyes see. Happy faces. Sad faces. Faces that you are sure are hiding too many things. Faces in love. Betrayed by your own senses, you keep walking.

R: I need to protect them.

There are always needs. Some are vicious. Some aren't. Most are. He needs to organize. His thoughts. His life. His needs are baseless. He needs to be needed. The needs of a restless mind. Emotional sponges, as she calls them.

M2: Don't leave us alone. They will kill us. Don't throw us out.
CA: Throw them out.

Alone. So very alone. Why the decision to throw him out ? Going against the script that he thought the cosmos had written for them, why ? Why listen to the mob outside their world ? Why could they not stay within their own ?

R: We ?
CA: We who are right.
R: And they ?
CA: And they who are wrong.
Since we are right.
A: What are you trying to prove ?

Prove. Yourself. To yourself. To everyone. Does it matter ? Who is right, who is wrong ? What is right, what is wrong ? Indifference. What is lost in the process of proving what is right and what is wrong ? Atleast, that should matter. Shouldn't it ? Does it ?

6 years in 28 minutes

2005-03-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

There you are, going through life, looking at old photos, thinking about friends you aren't in touch with, lusting for a time long gone. You sit there wondering if anything can possibly happen to put that spark of life back into you. Wondering if anything will ever happen, that will make you smile. Smile from deep within, grinning from ear to ear. Laugh out loud. You almost give up hope. And that's when it happens. Life decides to throw a huge soft pillow right at your head and when you turn around, you see a big smile and hear a big 'Gotcha !!'.

My name is Prasanna Vignesh Ganesan. To anyone following this, it should be all too clear where I'm headed. But I shall re-live the wonderfully quirky events of yesterday once again, more for my own pleasure than yours !

LadyK and I, have a history. It is quite amazing to see two people, meeting randomly in the backwaters of the blogging world, in the most accidental of ways, and realising that they indeed know each other. Really now, how small is this world ?

Myself and VB used to trip her with this other guy, R, who was also a participant in the IIT-JEE charade. She feels extremely amused at the fact that a guy who never spoke to her for the duration of the year we took those classes, now considers himself a fan of her writing. I have to agree, its very quaint, and very, very funny. I haven't stopped smiling since this whole thing started last night :)

I think that this is life telling you something. Its life asking you to realise the things that you miss out on. The people that you miss out on. The chances that you lose. And the chances that you get. She and her friend, apparently, used to refer to me as a geni-ass ;) Be that as I may, LadyK, I'm not missing out on chances a second time around.

Heres to being a fan and being a friend. Heres to 6 years lost and regained in a wonderful 28 minutes.

Idol

2005-02-28T08:31:00.000-08:00

Maybe idol isn't the right word for what this is about. More like role model. But I think idol fits fine. Lets go with idol.

I don't have one. One of the things that I miss about my life, is the fact that I have no role model. No person I want to go upto today and say,proudly, look, I did this. No teachers, no professors, no uncles, aunts or elder siblings. Suppose I were to win a big award for something [thanks to me watching the Oscars right now]. Say someone were to ask me, who was the person who inspired you ? I would have to lie. I would have to think of someone, and lie. Because in truth, I don't have one.

I do have people who intimidate me though, because they are so damn good at what they do. I remember seeing Dr. M at Landmark once, he taught me math for the IIT-JEE classes - if there ever was a teacher that I was in awe of, it was him - and how I proudly walked upto him and told him where I was going to go for graduate school. For once, I thought I would get a compliment, redeemed myself for the slack performance in JEE. He gave me a blank look - no congratulations, no way to go boyo. I quickly made some remark about the weather, thanked him and walked away, leaving him wondering what I was thanking him for. I couldn't have told him even if I wanted to.

It always ends this way

2005-02-27T09:25:00.000-08:00

I feel confused. I'm finding it hard to have a single coherent thought.

[snip] the concert last night - Shankar Mahadevan, Loy Mendonsa, Sivamani and Mandolin Srinivas. Sivamani's wonderfully experimental style supported Shankar Mahadevan's at times stoic, but amazing vocals.
[snip] the wonderful moon, rising with the music, the cool night under the stars, wishing i had someone to share that with.
[snip] its not the wish that hurts, its the loss.
[snip] everyone goes through this, why should i be any different ?
[snip] because i'm me goddammit !
[snip] music helps. reading helps. why do i still want more ? is that wrong ?
[snip] why am I doing this ?
[snip] catharsis.
[snip] where's my... ahhh... there it is. sleep...
[snip] tomorrows monday. thanks a fucking bunch.

Kindred

2005-02-26T01:41:00.000-08:00

What do you say to someone who is going through the very same, very rough patch in life that you find yourself in ? What do you say to someone who echoes every emotion running through your own mind ? Every memory that they relate, triggers a memory of your own. A memory that both of you are trying to forget. Everything they say, everything they do makes you wonder, how can different people have the exact same experiences ? React the exact same way ? Reach the exact same conclusions ? What do you say to such a person ? How do you tell them that you are going through the exact same thing, without trivialising it ? Without adding your problem to theirs ? How do you do this, when the root cause of all these problems is trust ?

Traveling, with a camera

2005-02-25T01:55:00.000-08:00

I love to travel and I love seeing new places. More than seeing, I love photographing new places. And for the longest time, I used to look to travel shows for inspiration for places to visit and things to do. The more you watch them though, the more you realize that if you were to visit any of the places you would lack one one major aspect that all these other people on these other shows had - a camera trailing them.

What happens on these shows ? Lovely lady gets a special meal cooked by the head chef, wines and dines, looks at the camera and tells you that the place is lovely, and is a must see and is a 10/10 for on her I-don't-care-if-it-costs-the-world ratings. Reality check - You will wait in line for about 3 hours to get into the same restraurant, no head chef, just cold pasta. Even more low keys affairs such as the Lonely Planet suffer from the same thing - picture this - a Mongolian shepherd sees Ian Wright trudging, backpacking up a hill, no camera man, nothing. Just last week, the shepherd was almost killed by some loony army soldiers. He sees the man with the large backpack, sees that the man is caucasian, whips out his hawk, whispers to the bird to go straight for Ian's eyes. The hawk, being well trained, safely brings back the eyeballs, and the man has a happy soup. Don't see that much on TV, huh ? Guess why ?

I'll tell you why. Its the camera, stupid. People are fascinated by it. The minute anyone sees a camera, they become someone they are not - meaning, they all start being extra nice and extra polite. Even Mongolian shepherds will call you into their little tent and serve you eyeball soup [sheep this time]. The point is, they ain't going to be that way to you. Unless you have a man following you with a camera. So the trick then is to make sure you have a camera and make sure you walk around saying 'Discovery Channel' and 'National Geographic' in loud, clear tones. That should ensure that you get good treatment in most 'off the beaten track' places you can visit.

Oh and make sure you aren't visiting a culture that thinks cameras are evil, because they capture a part of your soul, or something like that. In which case, just don't visit them. Go to Disneyland instead.

Waiting...

2005-02-24T04:39:00.000-08:00

I'm waiting for my colleagues meeting to get over, so we can pack up and leave for the play tonite. A couple of people I know are in this, people I've worked with and people I just know. Should be good fun, if we ever take off and get there on time.

I could crib about fickle friends, who decide at the last minute not to come, leaving me with 7 tickets and 4 people.

I could crib about the Govt. of India, that decided that my uncle is urgently required in New Delhi and got him on the next flight to the place.

I could crib about these damn meetings, which are the root cause of all this evil, chaining most of my friends to their desks. About why can't we make them stay late in the evening once in a while ? About why we have to stay back every freaking evening and ruin what semblance of a social life we have ?

I could crib about my total inability to concentrate at work today, leading to a very, very unproductive day.

I could crib about the fact that my neck is still aching from that horrible sprain over the weekend.

But I guess I won't, coz I have a play to watch and I like that. Doing something I like, makes me happy. I think. Does it ?

Euphoria

2005-02-24T00:55:00.000-08:00

Not as in I'm that happy, but as in the band. They are playing at ITPL tomorrow, so if any Bangaloreans would like to attend, do let me know and I can get you some discounted tickets. Email addy is on the profile. Concert starts at 7:30pm.

'Coz I got high...

2005-02-24T00:26:00.000-08:00

Drunk friend A and drunk-and-high friend B are having a conversation. Drunk us are watching.

Drunk friend A: Dude, you are high.
Drunk-and-high friend B: Dude, I'm not high. I am merely tall.

The single funniest moment of my life.

27 years... and what do they get ?

2005-02-23T06:10:00.000-08:00

An amazingly large amount of love and affection from everyone, that's what !

The 'they' in question being the parents of a wonderful lady, whom I have had the pleasure of knowing from the 4th grade. It was her parents 27th wedding anniversary yesterday. A lot of things ran through my mind as I was making my way through the Bangalorean jungle to her house - I've become old, I'm going to a 27th anniversary party and all - to - Wow! Married for 27 years ! - and ending up with - Damn ! An Adyar Ananda Bhavan, time for some 'samsas' ! But there are more interesting things to report, than my wanderings with samosa chat and freebie milk sweets.

So this was supposed to be a surprise party and all and since I was about 1.5 hours too early for the surprise, I had to hang around at a coffee shop for that said period of time. As you would guess, a coffee place, on a workday evening, is crawling with college kids (Damn, I was one of those not 3 years ago!) Now, I have thought long and hard about this. But I have decided to report the conversation of the 4 gentlemen seated next to me in a later post. Right now, we get back to the story of the surprise anniversary party.

Thanks to a wee-bit of a communication issue, two sets of people were scheduled to arrive at different times - not good for a surprise party. Especially with her father being fooled into thinking that they are all heading out for dinner. So I land up there, at 8:45pm and her dad is like, ah, lets go for dinner. I excused myself, just had dinner, sir, thank you for the invitation, that sorta think. Luckily, it never struck him to find out what exactly I was doing about 17 km away from where I live at 8:45 pm. Anyways, after a bit of commotion, people not knowing where the rest of the group is and all that, we finally manage to round up people and get the cake out, yelling surprise (some of the little kids started singing happy birthday as soon as they saw the cake !). And guess what ! The anniversary couple were no where to be found. After a few frantic calls, we tracked them down to the restaurant that my friend had told him they were going to go to. He had decided that he had had enough of our loitering about and left for dinner, figuring that him leaving first would be the best way to spur us into action and took off [The thing is that my friends house is HUGE, great big lawn and all that. Make getaways like this very simple indeed !]. We had to tell him to get back and that we were having a party for him at home ! We had such a great time riding my friend and her sister about this exemplary display of organisational skill !

But in all it was a great party. It felt so good to be amongst people, who you don't necessarily know that well (her entire family was there, I knew maybe 3 of the 25 people) but are happy being around. Being there made me feel like, I was part of their big extended family. Her mom and dad were so visible happy, that you couldn't help walking around with a silly grin on your face. Ahhh... A much needed dose of general love and affection.

Congratulations once again, sir. Love you, aunty. Thanks for the great tiramisu :)

I thought Mondays were supposed to be like this...

2005-02-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

6:45 am: Wake up to alarm, figure out how to shave 5 minutes off the daily routine, get back to sleep.
6:54 am: (Yes, my celly's alarm clock jumps 9 minutes on the snooze, wierd huh ?!?) Get up, repeat, sleep again.
7:03 am: Get up this time and think real hard about the pros and cons of waking up early. Decide its worth it and get up.
7:23 am: All showered, shaved, dressed and ready to battle perfectionist theatre directors and IIT-Bombay professors.
7:28 am: Catch an auto, head to rehearsals.
7:47 am: Auto breaks down. No, wait. The dumbass, actually tries to replace the empty LPG cylinder, with another empty cylinder, saying that the 'vandi' will 'fly' soon. Right, sure.
8:09 am: Being too close to the final desitination, no auto is willing to come by. Finally, manage to get one, for an exhorbitant rate.
8:16 am: End up at rehearsals, 16 full minutes late. Everyone glaring. Demanding 50 pushups. Yeah right, they barely got 2.
8:43 am: Director compares your best shot at the opening scene of Act 2, to Snoop Dogg having a bad cold.
9:13 am: Death defying ride on the back seat of a Sport version Activa (The ride on that was the wierdest position I have ever found myself in, with a woman, on a bike. In public.) Catch shuttle to work.
9:55 am: iPod hangs. Yes, it actually hangs. In the middle of Heavy Fuel by Dire Straits - prepping up for the Knopfler concert - it just stopped. Didn't know the trick to re-starting it, so left with no music and nothing to read for the rest of the ride.
9:57 am: Crazy, lunatic, noisy bike riding maniac tries to squeeze between the bus and the divider. Gets rammed, falls and misses getting run over by the bus by inches. (To give you a real feel for it, if the bus had run over him, I would have been splattered with his brains). The bike wasn't that lucky - the bus tears it apart.
10:14 am: Arrive at work, 2 meetings today. Birthday party in the evening. Presentation for tomorrow not done yet. Emails !
11:00 am: Start blogging (does commenting fall under the general activity of blogging?).
12:00 pm: Lunch time !!!!

Now, boys and girls, the moral of the story lies in its gradual progression from pissed off, all the way to moderately happy, through gratuitious violence (or the potential of). And I even figured out how to restart my iPod. Music while I read documents that should never have been written, but have been written and what's worse - written in MS Excel.

Taking it one step further

2005-02-21T00:31:00.000-08:00

Here follows a follow-up to my previous post. This happened today morning:

Phone rings at work, I pick up.
Me: Vignesh here.
Womans voice, all with fake accent and all: Hello sir, we are calling from Blah Blah Bank about the blah blah.
Me: Ahh, I see.
She: Blah, blah, blah...
Me: What did you say your name was ?
She: Lavanya from Blah Blah Bank.
Me: Lavanya, you have a very nice voice. Could I please have your phone number ? I mean, your personal number, not your work number.
Lavanya: Ummm....
Me: See, I'm new to Bangalore and I would love to get to know the city, with someone as nice as you. I would love to take you out for dinner, so could I please have your number ?
L: Ummm... I don't think we are allowed to do that.
Me: Right, you wouldn't want random people like me, calling to make random offers that you aren't interested in right ?
L: Exactly.
Me: Ahhh....
L: Ummm... thank you sir.
[Click]

I know, I'm going straight to hell.

My best friend

2005-02-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

These days, having a lot of friends is a big deal. Most people have a few. I am one of the lucky ones. I am truly lucky to have someone in my life, who is with me from the moment I wake up, all through the day, up until the moment I fall asleep. Constant messages on my celly, calls, and letters (you know, the old fashioned ones, on real paper). Yes, dear readers, you can all be officially jealous now. Citibank, is now my best friend. The only one who really cares, the only one who makes sure I know what's happening, all through the day. Makes sure that I am updated on all the current offers, how much I have left to go broke and most importantly, serving a constant reminder that I need to start looking at house loans and insurance.

I love you too, Citibank.

The guy in the last row

2005-02-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

To anyone who has travelled on a bus/shuttle to work in the city of Banglaore, this situation should be disturbingly familar.

There you are in the bus, sitting with half your ass off the seat because neither you nor the software engineer next to you have indulged in anything remotely resembling physical activity in months, legs folded into the aisle because whoever designed these buses decided that the average height of the person to inhabit that seat was freaking 4 feet, looking at the cute girl up ahead, promising yourself that you would go up and say hi the next time you saw her, as the bus pulls into work. Mind you, it hasn't stopped yet. Just pulls into view of the gates. With a good minute to go to actually stop. And that is when this one guy, sitting in the last row, after having suddenly remembered the conference call he has with, oh, I don't know, the Pope himself, decides to get up and start moving towards the front. Steel riveted boots stomping everyone's foot, fake leather man-purse smacking people on the head he walks by, blissfully unaware of the swollen feet and dismembered heads, grinning about the fact that he will, once again, be the first one off this hellride. If that were the end of this rant, we would be in a world too simple. Oh no, not by a long way. This action of the apparent friend of the Vatican, triggers an avalanche of followers, limping and clutching their aching cranium, moving towards the exit. The bus hasn't even stopped, yet here is this line of standing souls along the aisle, waiting to egress. These are the same sporting people who patiently waited for about 1.5 hours on Airport Rd, who now appear to be in a mad rush, with every second making the difference between getting that free coffee at work or having to wait for the office boy to refill the vending machine. And there you are, caught in the midst of all this, listening to your music, still looking at her, wondering what the hell just whacked your head, when you realise - Damn, meeting at 9:30.

Shit boy, get up and move arse !

2005-02-15T04:58:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been more than 6 months ! So much has happened, so many things have changed. Most for the worse. Some, maybe, for the better. I knew this post wouldnt be easy. But I didn't realise how tough it would be. I don't think I can do better than this anyway, so here is exactly how I feel:

Frodo [voiceover]: How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart... you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold.
[...]
Sam: Well, I'm back.
- The Return of the King (2003)

Well, I'm back.

2004-07-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

Change. Big, huge, life altering change. So this is how it feels.

Later today, I will be leaving my home of the last two years. It feels strange to refer to it as home. I wouldn't have given it that level of importance a year ago. A year ago it would have just been an apartment. Thanks to a some great friends, thanks to some amazing times, it has become home. And now I'm leaving.

Thanks everyone, for all the good times. And all the times that have taught me that its not always about the good times. Thanks for all the shot glasses and all the memories. Thanks for making me realise what home really is. Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish.

I remember saying this a while ago -- my next entry, will be from Chennai or Bangalore. From my old chair. From what I hope will be my new home.

I can't wait.

2004-07-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

For certain readers in different time zones, as of 23:29:45EST Saturday 10 June 2004, 88 hours 30 minutes and 15 seconds to go. Make that 10 seconds.

2004-07-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

Dammit ! I skipped a day on a COUNTDOWN ! How lame is that for a blog ! In either case, 5 more to go !!

2004-07-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

And so it begins. 7 more days.

2004-06-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

Coming soon ™.

2004-02-04T19:25:00.000-08:00

So there I was, thinking that this semester would be a nice enriching experience, as opposed to the gut wrenching, painfully mind numbing and self confidence destroying previous ones. Boy, was I wrong. Please excuse the following rant.

Hasn't this man heard of meta information ? Layered architecture is just that, layered. That doesn't mean a huge ass switch case statement main(). That means a layer higher than this should be making that decision. And where is the documentation that decided this is the way they are going to do this ? Non existent. Not a single readme or anything. Just close to 1500 files with around an average of 1000 lines of code each. It's frustrating and the software architect in me cringes looking at the horrible architectural mismatch all over the place. Components with agents, passing event via ports and interfaces ? C'mon, really now.

That feels so much better. Who says blogs are not cathartic. Maybe this person. I am a bit curious about how Google is planning on handling said PageRank killing thingies.

For the sports fan in me, this weekend was a such a ride. India hands games over, uncharacteristically, looking at recent history. Apparently so does Safin. I have this illogical hatred of Roger Federer ever since he beat Sampras at Wimbledon. I know that makes no sense, given that he is really really good, but I still don't like him. I guess it is apparent that I was and will always be a big Sampras fan.

Talking about people who give up and die, this is probably the best example of just the opposite. I don't consider myself enough of a fan of American football to even venture an opinion, but if I were to say anything it would be - yes, this was the best Superbowl ever. All the way.

Should moisturizing cream be applied gently or with vigorous scrubbing ? I mean, at the end should there be a thin white filmy coating over applied area of skin or nothing ? Why do people do things like this, allowing others to make such good quality fun of said incident ? Why am I always late getting up, cursing myself for sleeping too long, only to wake up and spend the entire morning reading random blogs and feeds ? What should I get my valentine for well, Valentine's Day ?

Such is the nature of questions that probe the mind of today's graduate student. As he listens to the absolutely marvelous, Norah Jones.[To the person who is supposed to take the hint now, please do so !]. You can download an excellent sampling of the fine lady's music from there too.

Nice long post. I was just wondering, I get most of my daily dose of what's happening out there from some blog or the other. Aren't most websites becoming just that - blogs of some nature or the other. The more I think about it, the more the difference between an actual website of yore and a weblog - isn't much. What say ?

2004-01-24T12:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back.

I'm not sure where I should begin. The overwhelming sense of anticipation on the flight home. The sense of going back to some place that you should have always been at to begin with and stay at for good. Nothing on the horrendous flight made any difference to how I was feeling. Grumpy air-hostesses, people sitting next to me stealing my vegetarian meals and me having to pick at lamb lasagna, unscheduled stopovers at two extra places adding two more sets of take offs and landings. None of these things mattered. There was just one objective, just one goal, one thing that was of the most importance. And boy was it worth the wait. Family and friends and the love of my life. It was wonderful. And mind you, Im not saying that just because of the food, which to my starved on Subway existence, was better than I ever remembered.

I don't know if my peers felt this way, but it's funny how grown up people think you are after a prolonged abscense. Or maybe I have "grown up". I don't think so. But the attitude of my parents and family to my presence back home, was... well, different. It was nice having people listen to what you say, to have your brother actually look up to you and all that. For those who are wondering I went through engineering from home and was considered quite a useless lump of flesh. So for me its a refreshing change. It was, well as I said, nice.

Bangalore is still awesome. From the first time I went there, way back in '85, it has always been my favorite. For no particular reason. For all sorts reasons. I had a great time. There were lots of things to talk about with her. Things are moving so fast, so many conflicting emotions. But there is one constant throughout all this, something that will always be there. I love her. That's it. That's all I ever need to know.

More later, work and software security beckons.

2003-12-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

I heading home. After year and a half, I will be with mom, dad, bro and the love of my life. I cant even begin to express how amazing it feels. The next entry, will be from home. From my old chair. From some netcafe in Chennai or Blore ! Probably with Viggy or Ambi or Maddie !

Till then, have a good one.